Aunt Gertrude

This is it.

This is the last page.

The very last one.

Only three hundred words separate me from completing my first novel.

The countless hours of living in my imagination and fantasy world are about to pay off. Big time. My literary agent will be so proud to read this. It's going to be groundbreaking, a real game-changer, and I may even inspire the next generation. "Look out Stephen King there is a new author in town." Joyce will be leaking exuberance from her every pour once she gets ahold of this. I'll be on the New York best sellers list by the end of the month, I'll be rolling in the dough and my life will finally change for the better. Just three hundred words and my life living as an unemployed writer will soon come to an end. I've got this!

Todd's enthusiasm was short-lived though. After starting word two hundred and ninety-nine of the three hundred left, he received a phone call from his wife, Connie, that will ultimately change his life and book forever.

"Oh Todd, this is so horrible!"

"Connie? Are you alright? Catch your breath hon, I can hear you wheezing from here. Slowly. In your nose. Out your mouth."

Connie was a pack-a-day smoker since college and that was almost fifteen years ago. Todd tried to persuade her to quit but to no avail.

"Aunty Gerdy was in a car accident last night. She is at Saint Joseph's hospital downtown, thankfully I got a call from the triage nurse when she got in, she is pretty banged up. Broke both of her legs and arms, I just got back from her room and she is covered head to toe in plaster. "

"Oh my god! That poor thing. What is she doing behind the wheel at her age, isn't she in her 90's?"

"She will be 85 this Tuesday. Todd, I have something to ask you, you can say no if you want and I don't want you to feel obligated..."
 
A sudden jolt struck Todd, he already knew what his beautiful wife of sixteen years was going to ask before she even has to say a single word. He knew her ins and outs to a T and she always blabbered on when she was going to ask him for something big.

"Ok, sure. What's up?" Todd asked her out of sheer politeness.

"I know you just quit at the hospital to pursue your dream as a writer but, aunt Gerdy..."

Todd didn't need to listen after all.  He had a sneaking suspension that he would have to dust off his old stethoscope and practice up on his bedside manner. He could already see it. He can see his starch-pressed lab coat with his name embroidered about the left pocket being pulled out of its plastic cocoon.

"Todd Gruden MD at your service madame. What may I ask Ailes you this fine evening?"

His analysis brain flipped into overdrive going down the list, method of injury, an auto wreck. What injuries were sustained, multiple broken bones and contusions possible concussion, estimated time of recovery, she's an 83-year-old female, it may take a full year just to get her to walk or god forbid, it may take her early, she is old after all.

"...I hope you don't mind? Is that ok or am I asking for too much? I just feel so horrible about all of this, Gene and her no longer talk, and I am all she has."

"WE are all she has, we are family after all."

"Bless your heart! I knew I picked a good guy. I don't care what anyone says about you, you are great."

"Oh gee, thanks."

They both laughed

"Are you sure Todd? I don't want to force you into anything."

"How about this, as an early payment you can put on that green negligee I bought you for Christmas. I think it still has the tag on it."

"How about I also get us a nice bottle of red wine to show you how much I appreciate you." She said with a seductive tone.

"Oh really now? I'm getting excited as we speak! When will you be home?"

"Not till after 11. Honesty,y I could use a bottle of wine after today, not too sure about sex though, I'm just so tired."

"A,w man. That bad?"

"Ya. Marissa called off today so I'm covering her rounds all day and I've been fighting a migraine all day."

"Maybe we should postpone tonight's festivities?" Todd said while gulping down his lust into that sinking pit of male frustration. He is almost 60 after all, getting it up after two glasses of wine would be a miracle of its own.

"You're the best. Todd, I'll make this up to you I promise."

"Stop it. Of course, I'll be here for you and OUR family. It's what I'm here for. I may not be in practice but I'm sure the medical boards won't try to take my license away for taking care of my dear aunt Gerdy. "

Spoken like a true kiss-ass.
Hey Toddy boy,  you have something brown on your nose, just there. Ya. Right there. Ya. You got it.

"Ok, I have to get back to work. I'll let you know when I'm on my way home. I love you. So much."

"I love you too, so much. Bye."

Todd hung up the phone with a quickly fading smile. He looked off into space for a second or two, overthinking a thousand and one different possible futures, all of which involve Aunt Gerdy, all of which involve awkward sponge baths, bathroom accidents, and the fruitful frustrations that caregiving can give, all without that magical time of being off call...His eyes grew wider before yelling...

"FUCK!"