Forever In Our Memories (On Hold)

Chapter 6

Nate doesn't say a thing the rest of the night. I still feel awful about things, so I don't bring anything up. He just sat around and sometimes he would go into his painting room. He would sit in the floor and stare at the wall. There was nothing I could do to help. So I sat with him as he stared at his work. Eventually he got up, but what he did almost tore my heart in half. He started ripping his paintings in half.

"Stop it!" I yell as soon as he starts. He just continues. I get off of the floor and grab his arm. He turns and looks at me with pained eyes.

"How are we going to do this? I'm not sure I can take it if you're like you were earlier all the time, or even some of the time. I'm not sure if I'm ready to be a father," he says, storming out of the room.

He is acting this way because of me. He was so happy before this happened. Before I messed it up. I hate myself. Why did I have to run away?! Why did I do this to Nate? He doesn't deserve this. Not after what he went through as a kid. His childhood was terrible. His mom died in childbirth, while he was being born. His father never let him forget that. His father was also abusive and and did drugs like crazy. He died when Nate was 8, so Nate had no one. He was sent to an orphanage and he was there until he was 18. The people there also abused him and when people wanted to adopt him they took one look at him. They saw his age and how he looked. They didn't like him so they asked for another kid. He felt so unwanted, like everything that has ever happened was his fault. As soon as he turned 18, he moved as far away as he could. He found me. We were friends when we were little but when he went to the orphanage we lost contact.

(We hung out all the time outside of school, for he snuck out just to hang with me. He was here one year if highschool, but then moved the year after.)

I walk into the living room. He is sitting on the couch, hugging a teddy bear. I go over to him and sit down too. I look at the teddy bear in his hand and reach out to it. He grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him.

"I'm sorry that I ran when we found out. I just wasn't sure how to take the news," I say as I put my head on his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay. There is nothing to worry about. I'm just thinking about this. What if I'm like my dad? What if something complicates the birth and you die or the baby dies or worse? I'm not sure if I could live without you..." he would have continued but I kissed him. He pulled me into his lap and held my back.

"I love you. There is nothing to worry about remember. You are nothing like your father. Trust me, I know," I assure him, gazing into his beautiful eyes. "I really hope the baby has your eyes," I say and the clock strikes 11.

"We should get you two to bed. If we don't then we will be late for your check up tomorrow," he says and picks me up and carries me to bed. I lay down, thinking about how happy we will be when the baby arrives. I begin to drift off into a deep sleep.