Illicit Affairs | Obi-Wan Kenobi

Five

His fingertips stroke the loose locks of the hair that have fallen out of my braid as I listen to his heartbeat beneath where my head rests on his chest, my oxygen mask on the table beside us. The sun is rising and the city celebrates.

But for us it is a different story.

Qui-Gon was a mentor for me, never my master, but a figure I could turn to when I felt there was no one else who understood how I thought. A figure who embraced me again the moment he found me here on Naboo,  who still made me feel welcome despite being excommunicated from the order, who gave me faith. Who put my saber in my hand and let me be what he believed I am destined to be.

But for Obi-Wan, he lost his master, a father. He has lost truly.

No words need to be spoken between us, only felt with the touch of our hands, holding onto each other with such a desperation that to let go would feel like losing strength because that is what we give one another. 

Strength. 

And hope.

We stay like that until we see ships entering the atmosphere through the open window, slowly we rise and my body aches to the point I have to lie back down, and so he is the one who looks out towards the window, our hands still joined.

"Master Windu and Master Yoda," he says and his face falls. "They know."

Of course they would feel the death of a fellow Master. 

But it is Obi-Wan who suffers.

"Obi-Wan," I breathe hoarsely and he looks back at me, hand coming to touch my face, eyes falling down to the bruises around my neck and he manouvres me up until I'm sitting at the edge of the bed albeit bent over, my head still pounding and throat aching as he bends down so he is looking up at me, eyes fixed on me with concern, but it is his pain which I cannot bear.

He helps me force more painkillers down my throat and kneels down, face level with mine as I lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek which still tastes of salt from the tears, knowing soon we must depart from here to face the day. We faced the night together, but it's the thought of facing the day without him that I don't know if I can do.

"I can't bare the thought of what comes after this," I confess to him, tears in my eyes as I hold his face in my hands. "I don't want you to leave."

"I won't," he promises me, eyes level with mine.

"You won't have a choice," I whisper tearfully, now the mission is done, he has his duty to the order. "Obi-Wan, you're job is done here."

He shakes his head, denial in his eyes as he kisses the inside of my palm. "My job is not done until you return to the order with me." 

"Obi-" He kisses me, his lips soft but so full of pain and I know he can taste my tears as he lets go of my lips to kiss away them away, murmuring "I'm not leaving you, I won't."

In our eyes is madness, the knowing that to part would be to die.

"Obi-Wan I-" before I can confess my heart to him I feel movement in the hallway and sense Padme, no doubt coming to check on me and tell him "Come to my room here in the palace."

He gives me a determined nod and it's then the door opens, Padme's caught by surprise by us but is far from scandalised after all she's seen these past days.

"Obi-Wan, you should know more Jedi have come to the city for the celebration and to deal with the aftermath of the invasion."

"We'll be there," Obi-Wan says, speaking for me knowing I still struggle with it. "Thank you, your Highness."