Ephemeris

28 : Into Your Desire

Gale felt someone grabbing his hand as the artificial gravity generator was heaving astronomical fragments. His bloodshot eyes were pleased with his stunning work of art. But deep down, he loathed his ego because saving the world was not enough. Indeed, he had done an immaculate resurrection and might set everything back to normal, that there would be a tomorrow for all. However, this would never be the tonic that would heal the scars to reconcile with his family. The veils of vague thoughts muffled his senses.

What have I done? Was it enough? I was never there with you, Ynsia, my wife. I remember the day we had a row. I never thought it would be the last time admiring your beauty. I should have embraced and kissed you. I should bask in the warmth of your body and the things only you could have shown me. I wasn't there at your side when you fell. I didn't brave the nightmares to scare them away. I wasn't fearless enough. I cut out your trust in me when I turned my back. May my creation light up your world. And this is my heart choked in my throat, he thought.

At midnight, Ynsia was dazed by the unknown light from above. The woman was in shock when she became utterly sentient about her surroundings. She never imagined that heaven would be a junkyard. It was more of a graveyard of the damned, she further described. A beam of light illuminated the gory curves and edges of the boy's visage in front of her. Her eyes cascade with genuine tears. Her memory now was vivid and crisp for her to see. She enfolded her tender arms around him. She cried.

What have I done? What happened to you, Daniel, my son? Is this what I'm doing? Forgive me. I endure miscarriages, but you champion martyrdom. Your lips are white, and you come and pour some red on mine. I must be the one writhing in pain and fever. You, a sacrificial lamb, spent everything you have. A child's life is meant to be happy, abundant, and meaningful. But you have chosen this plague. I must have cast aside my problems and issues and hurried back stronger to look after you. I should have taken you on an adventure every day, planted seeds of virtues, and watered them with devotion. Nonetheless, without my help, you withstood loneliness and sculpted yourself as the most courageous and generous child, the brightest neutron star I have ever wished for. You should be the one lying in my arms, sleeping soundly in them tonight. From now on, I'll be the mother that will give the affection you longed for as bright as the light of my unconditional love. May my forgotten kiss make the bruises well. And this is my heart caged in my fragility, she thought.

Moonlight dispersed over the hills, mountains, lakes, oceans, barrios, and cities beneath. With his blurry eyesight, Daniel couldn't take his tired eyes off the restored celestial orb. He felt the sincere expression of regret from his mother. She was hysterically sobbing and embracing him so tightly. He could hear her heart beating in a crescendo rhythm. He wanted to comfort her. But he couldn't move his arms, even his little finger. Delirium was crippling his senses.

What have I done? Did I do great? Dad, I know you are there with her. I heard some time ago that you'd revive her. Forgive me for eavesdropping. I couldn't help it because I had to listen to every word you uttered. I told you a promise, and you believed I'd deliver. I did save Mother because I wanted to make both of you proud of me and fill our hearts with love. I believe that one day you'd fix her. You carried the sins of humanity on your shoulders and gave them another chance. You are the unseen genius, the unseen savior. And even though I couldn't see you, I could feel your presence. Everything felt surreal at the moment, for I have seen her divine splendor at last. Thank you for your gift, Father. Luna, I wish I could say these words directly to you, but they exist only in my mind. I'm very sorry. May your soul have pity on mine. And this is my heart buried in my grave, he thought.

Gale, Ynsia, and Daniel made a sound—a breath jumping in their windpipes. It was discreet but enough to be heard by the tireless and timeless cosmos. "Into your desire, I—surrender—" the trinity whispered in succession.