Noelle's Diary

Diary Entry 2

September 19, 2006

Dear Diary,

These last three nights have been some of the most tiring ones in quite a few months.

Breeze has been having such a hard time sleeping and getting around. Sometimes she has no problem crawling around, whereas other days she struggles to even stay sitting up. When she can get around I find as though she's always looking around trying to find something. My only guess is that she's trying to find Mali. On the days she can't move she is always moving her head around and crying. Once she starts crying she doesn't calm down for hours. I just have to hold her in my arms and hope the rocking is comforting enough.

Every time I see her like this it makes me feel as though I've failed her. She's going to be three in a few months but can barley even do half the things a one year old can.

Angel keeps trying to comfort me and tell me it's all going to be alright, but I just don't agree. She doesn't understand that Breeze is this way because I haven't been able to take proper care of her the last 2 and a half years. I was lucky that Mali was able to be the way she is with the amount of attention her and Breeze were getting.

All I can do is just keep taking it day by day and hoping that it will get better. I'm hoping that I can help get Breeze back on track to at least being healthy within the next month. Just so she can be on the right path to being like other kids her age. I keep seeing whenever she's around Diablo she gets upset. I think it's because she either misses Mali or is upset that he can do more than she can.

Angel informed me that Lin and Terre wanted to stop by tomorrow. Angel said they don't know that I've returned yet so it should be an interesting day.

Noelle

Next Entry September 20th