Bare Your Fangs

Part Four(final)

 (TW CW: brutal depictions of gore)

As I lied in this ocean of purple blankets, I felt as calm as I could be. My body melted into the firm bed and soft sheets, barely letting me move a muscle. It was an interesting feeling. The only constant in my stream of consciousness of the running of blood through my veins. So I could only imagine what it would've been like to be the lifeless body that was encased in my savageness.

The body of the most important man in my life.

The body, of Muryoku.

. . .

How could I have been this selfish? To take the life of someone who showed me nothing but warmth and kindness. Mury...

I'm sorry. I was so weak. Couldn't hold it in no matter how hard I tried. The crimson red of his blood deepened the color of his fur, distorting it in a way, leaving it a monster of what was once there. And what was once there... god, I miss him. He would've told me that it was all okay, that I was still beautiful even with his flesh dangling from the teeth.

I begged for this to not be real, I fucking begged. Please, please still be alive, please still be warm. Yet, I was only left with a limp, cold husk of a person. I couldn't even pretend to still be with him as I had left his face a monster of what it used to be. So soft and inviting, a smile that could break through this endless pain I was in. It almost left me paralyized how horrifying he appeared. Scratches and wounds ran across his face like stray bullets. His mouth had been half torn off, leaving the other one hanging by a thread of the nerves that were still his jaw.

I pulled him closer to my chest, hoping it would hide him from my vision and only leaving what I could imagine was a loving boyfriend. Normally, he would ball up and melt into me. Such a lovely feeling that was.

Such a lovely feeling he was. In the position that we held each other in, he gripped onto him hand as hard as he could, and even though he could no longer hold me anymore, his hand still remained. It was as if he had prepared for this brutal killing. Accepting it, even.

No, no, I can't blame this on him. I had no right to do what I had done. Even if he had believed this was right, it wasn't. God, I wish I could've just asked him. Is this what you wanted? How could he have ever loved something like this? I was a monster in the truest sense of the word. I did nothing but hurt everyone around me, push them away until I had no one left.

I wish I was dead. If I had never existed, this poor red panda would've had a chance. The worse part was, I approached him. I had been obsessed with him for the longest time, always begging to be with him. If I only I had known this was what would happen.

That first day we talked was euphoric for me. Mury was the only herbivore who had actively let me around him privately. I don't know if had a death wish, or if it was out of kindness, but I could never thank him enough for it. He changed my life. For better or for worse, he was the only person who I'd ever share this moment with. Truely, the closest I would ever be to another beast. He... he made me happy.

Is this what love was?

God, I was practically weeping at this point. I was broken. I was a distraught person most of the time, but this had been beyond my limit. Tears pooled around me just as much as the blood did, mixing together to make something unimaginable. Shaking, trembling even, like my whole body had been put in a state of permanent confusion. Not knowing which direction to go, but pleading for an escape from this... this, demon that it had inhabited.

Who even was I? I always told myself that this wouldn't happen. Always felt from the first moment I looked into his eyes, those perfect, golden eyes, that I would never hurt him. But he didn't have eyes anymore. Just deep gashes from where they were torn out. It was unnatural, almost unimaginable just how brutal the killing was. He had so many exposed arteries and organs from where I had cut into him.