In Your Wildest Dream

44

I woke up with the sound of alarm clock beside my bed. Agad akong napangiti ng bumungad sa akin ang mukha ng munting anghel na syang nagsalba sa akin sa lahat ng sakit ng nakaraan. My daughter is already four years old now—she has a thick eyebrows, long eyelashes, a pointed nose and a hazel brown eyes—-she has all the features of him. She can speak English, Thai and some basic Filipino words. She also excel in school.

I move slowly on our bed para hindi agad sya magising. Naabutan ko agad si Nanay Luz sa may kusina.

She's like a mother figure to me—she help me throughout my pregnancy journey up until now that Xandra is already in her four years.

"Good morning anak!"bati nito sa akin ng may mga ngiti sa mga labi

"Good morning Nay!Mukhang masarap po yang niluluto nyo ah"I said and started to make my coffee

"Niluluto ko yung bacon na paborito ni Damara"she said na agad kong ikinangiti

Nanay Luz is a Filipino overseas worker here in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I met her because of Ms. Helen and after that she stayed with us up until now.

I am a professional volleyball player here in Thailand for almost three years and I am also doing a part time job as a tech support in a company but it's just a work from home dahil gusto ko pa rin namang maalagaan ang anak ko kahit nandito si Nanay Luz.

"Nay, may training po kami mamaya—gusto nyo po bang sumama ni Xandra?"I asked while helping her preparing the table for breakfast

"Aba'y syempre naman! Tiyak na matutuwa si Damara kapag nakita ka ulit maglaro"tuwang-tuwang sabi nya

I went to our room again to wake my daughter up. My little princess is still sleeping...

"Baby—"I said using a soft voice and plant a small kisses on her face

She slowly open her eyes and look at me with her puffy eyes...

"Good morning Mommy!"nakangiting sabi nito bago ako yakapin at halikan sa pisngi

She's always like this—she grew up so sweet and kind literally an angel sent here for me.

"Brush your teeth na—you're going to watch me Mommy play volleyball later!"masayang sabi ko kaya nanlaki agad ang mata nito at agad na nagtatatalon sa kama

"Really Mommy? I'm going with you?I'm gonna see Lola Helen and all my titas. Yehey!"she said full of energy and run quickly inside the bathroom

She really love seeing me playing volleyball—I am bringing her sometimes when I have trainings but I didn't bring her during live plays para na rin sa kaligtasan nya. I don't want her to be seen in public. Hindi dahil sa kinakahiya ko kung hindi dahil gusto ko syang protektahan sa magulo at maingay na mundo. I want her to live her life like a normal kid with her age.

Living here alone is not easy—sobrang daming adjustments and hahanapin mo talaga yung nakasanayan mo but I'm still grateful that I have a few trusted people with me. Tita Helen help me to hide my identity in public. Only the coaches, my teammates, Tita Helen and Nanay Luz knows my real name. I am using Tita Helen's surname which helps me a lot dahil hindi ko kailangang mag-alala kung sakali mang may mga Filipino fans na nanonood.

Pagkatapos naming mag-almusal agad kong pinaliguan si Xandra at binihisan. She's wearing a jersey with her name and number 18 which is her birthday. She looks like a mini version of me when I am wearing my jersey.