The System

Chapter 32

"Well?" Mick asks. "Why are you going?"
"Um.."
"Spit it out," he laughs but he seems a bit agitated.
"I need to break the System."
He stares before laughing.
"Why?"
"It's the only way to end this!" I feel fire burning in me. "If I can destroy it not another innocent child can have his freedom taken! No more wicked an cruel experiments, just us being who we are!"
I feel tears fall. I feel so weak. I want it to be over. And soon it will all be over.
"How?"
"I don't know yet..."
"Why you?"
"Because I am the RAVEN."
"So?" He laughs.
"I have permission to get in."
He scoffs, "How do you know?"
"Cronon told me."
Mick accepts this and doesn't even have an inch of doubt in his mind as soon as I mention the leader. Funny that a title gives power.
"What are you going to do though?"
"I'll make it up."
I sprint off, looking at the map.
"Hey!"
He runs after me. Why? I have no idea but I need to get to the System. Now.
"Wait!"
I turn around to face him and he stops running.
"I have to go!"
"I'll come!" Mick tries to lead the way.
I grab his wrist. Mick looks at me enthusiastically. I groan annoyed.
"Don't you get it?" I sigh. "You won't get in and I'll be better alone."
It's not entirely false. I would be better alone. I still find it kind of awkward.
Suddenly his lips are against mine. They are forceful and I pull back. He keeps leaning in.
"Stop!"
Mick stares up. He seems shocked.
"What?" It's more of a breath than a word. "I... But-"
I step backwards and brush the silver suit. I cough trying to act like that never happened.
"Go to the cooling," I say, emotionless. "The others are there."
"What?" He repeats.
"The ROBINS are there."
"But didn't you feel anything?!" He exclaims with pleading eyes.
I just stare coldly into Mick's eyes.
"Nothing?!" He repeats and I remain silent. "Fine," he stand up straight. "I'm safer on my own. I'll never know what you might do. One minute we will be talking and the next I'll be dead."
Then he walks right past me. His shoulder brushes on mine. It's cold. Mick leave me with his sharp words and I try not to splutter with shock. I try to ignore the heavy feeling in my gut and stand straight. Then I look down at the map. Mick's word stain my mind like blood on a white sheet. It reaches every corner and no matter what I try to do I know his words are there. They lurk like the imaginary monsters that haunt kids.
I shuffle to the System. The corridors seem to get longer and longer and my head starts to spin. I don't think but just walk.
Finally a come to a door. A big metal door. It's painted white and has a round window with bolts lacing it's sides. A creaky handle is fixed to the heavy gateway. I know this is where it is. The System lays behind it.
I grab the thick handle and push it down. It's cold and makes my spine tingle with shivers. I lean against the cold hard door and it slowly creaks open. Behind it is anther room. I small white room. It has a second newer door.
"State your name and title," calls a robotic overhead voice.
I gulp, "Hannah McCloud, RAVEN."
Suddenly a red laser grid sans the room from bottom to top buzzing like white noise.
"Confirmed."
Then a keypad pops out from the wall and I jump.
"Please scan index finger."
I do as I'm told and press down on the blue glowing surface.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
I jump. Then the noise ends.
"Confirmed. Welcome Hannah McCloud, RAVEN. Please stick to your restricted access."
I shudder as the door opens. It reveals the biggest room I have ever seen. It has an extremely tall roof and ten long walls. Each of the walls it covered it little drawers with letters and dates on them.
In the centre of the room is a glass control centre. Blue lights flash and I see lights glowing from the side of the room.
I gasp.
I step over to the control centre and see a thousand intimidating buttons. I press a blue glowing button with a harmless symbol of a mouth.
"Voice activation accessed."
My voice shakes as I say, "Hannah McCloud's file."
"Wall nine row twenty, column thirty three."
I spin around to wall nine and a little drawer opens up. A light glows upon it and I look at it. It's too tall to reach and I sigh.
"Open drawers in column thirty three rows one to nineteen," I demand.
All the little drawers open up and lights glow. I run over to the first one an stand on it. It seems sturdy. Then I climb. I pull my self up the drawers until I finally reach my own. It has paper inside! There are files of names all started with 'm' like mine. McBabba, Nina - McBaba, Dylan - McBella, Francessca - all the way up to McCunci, Sami.
Toward the end I see my name. I gently pull out the file. There is a picture of me as a baby on the first page. Then a list of all things all about me like a profile of that year. Then every year following remains on a separate page. Each with a photo and different information according to the year. A paragraph sums up that year and what was predicted. I look closely.

MCCLOUD, HANNAH - AGE 0-1
The subject resisted the H2O tablets at birth. This is not uncommon or suspicious. Her father left six months before birth. At three months after a healthy birth and low acceptance to the H2O tablets she was taken to the System. Her blood and DNA suggested high intelligence and curiosity as well as some creativity, compassion and coordination. It was decided the subject would go to NE School as the subject was a perfect match. The subject's life timeline was easily planned from here on.

Then a timeline was recorded of the year and I saw a lot of failed marks on the document.

Timeline
6 months: watch nature show SUCCEEDED
7 months: burn hand FAIL
8 moths: doctor would meet mother FAIL
9 months: mother sick SUCCEDED
10 months: doctor propose with subject's mother FAIL
11 months: doctor cure mother FAIL
12 months: subject crawls SUCCEDED
Conclusion of child:
Resistance to H2O continues therefor the subjects hand was not burnt. Her mother did not meet doctor and mother died of illness.

I look at it again, reading ever word and over and over. I killed my mother. I would have left her at five for school anyway but I killed her. Not literally but by resisting she....
I read on to the next year.

MCCLOUD, HANNAH - AGE 1-2
Subject continues to resist H2O tablets and continues to defy the System. A new future was decided to make up for the past year.
Timeline
13 months: lives with aunt SUCCEEDED
14 months: speaks first word SUCCEDED
15 months: meets father in a shop FAILED
16 months: lives with father FAILED
17 months: father takes subject to zoo FAILED
18 months: subject walks SUCCEEDED

I stop reading. I never new my father because I resisted. I flick through the pages. Each page I resist and something bad happens. My aunt dies of stress because I didn't leave. I get a dog but then it dies because I don't like it and let it escape. I never learn to ride a bike because I don't go outside on a random Tuesday. The System continues to do good for me but I refuse it at every corner. I read the page when I am five.

MCCLOUD, HANNAH - AGE 5-6
The subject is clearly not accepting our control and must be given to Professor Gein for investigation. Timeline for this year will not exist as experimental research must be done.

The next page is full of the research done on me. How do I not remember this??