Love Is Enough

Chapter 4

As the minutes drift closer to being an hour, I get more and more worried. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's nearly impossible now. In ten minutes, I've gotten up approximately six hundred times. I literally can't sit still, even when I try to, all I can do is fidget. Janie sits beside me, but she sits as still as a statue. I can't help but wonder how she's doing it. She must be as worried about Shawn as I am about Conrad, but somehow, she's able to look calm and in control. Even though I know it's all an act, it is pretty convincing. If someone else, who didn't know her as well, saw her, they would totally fall for it. "Janie, are you ok? I mean, I know how I'm feeling, and I'm terrified. And I know how you feel about Shawn. You really love him. You must be worried too. I can tell." She looks at me, and I swear I can see the internal battle in her. I can tell that she's conflicted between telling me, and keeping her wall up. The internal battle seems to go on for several minutes, but she finally breaks down. She starts crying, sobbing really, and it breaks my heart. As sad and worried as I am, I can't help but focus on her. Something about her pain makes me forget about mine for the time being.

"Look, I'm sure everything is going to be fine. The guys have been in enemy territory many times before this, and they always came back. They know how to take care of themselves. They'll be fine. We just need to have faith and hope." I tell her, trying to make myself believe every word. So far I'm not believing any of it. I walk over to her, pulling her into my arms. I hold her as we both cry, releasing so many emotions. "Um, excuse me? Ms. Amaria? Ms. Janie? Mr. Sam wanted me to come tell you that Mr. Shawn and Mr. Conrad just got back." Lacey says as she stands there, her face serious for her twelve year old self. Janie sits up straight, her tears of sadness turning into tears of joy as she cries out. We stand up, and she grabs my hand. I'm grateful that she does, because I feel like I need the support as much as she does. We run as fast as we can to where Sam and the other guys are. As soon as I get closer, I can tell something is wrong. Janie must sense it too. Conrad is sitting, and everyone is staring at someone laying on the ground. I step even closer and gasp.

I try to shield Janie and hold her back, but it's no use. She escapes my grasp and runs forward. "SHAWN!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!! SHAWN!!!!!!" She drops to her knees beside him, staring at his lifeless body and still face. He has multiple gunshot wounds all over his chest, and blood is everywhere, more blood than I've ever seen in my life. Janie's sobs are all I can hear, they're everywhere. They are overfilled with sadness and anger and despair. My heart breaks right along with hers. I can't stand it any longer. I have to leave. I can't be around this, it's too much. And I can't leave Janie here either. I have to get her somewhere else, somewhere she can grieve and eventually get better. I walk over to Sam, and am so shocked I feel like I can't move. Usually, Sam is all smiles. He never looks sad, and his smile brightens up the whole world. But now, his face is full of sadness, not a smile in sight. He is one of the strongest among us, I've never seen him so vulnerable.

"Sam. I need your help." He looks back at me, like he just got out of a trance. "Ok. What is it?" he says, talking slower than usual. "We have to get Janie out of here. We have to get her somewhere else, somewhere quiet so she can grieve. Can you help me please?" He looks at me, a look full of compassion and sympathy. "Ok, what can I do?" He says, and I smile, incredibly grateful. I love Sam, for this reason. He is like a brother to all of us, he cares about everyone so deeply and is full of compassion, even for people who try to tear him down. I give him a tight hug, trying to convey all my love for him in it. He hugs me back. "You know, we should probably separate before Conrad decides to beat me up." He says lightheartedly, looking over my shoulder at the others. I giggle, grateful that he's trying to cheer me up. "Ok, let's go get Janie."

We get to Janie, in the same position beside Shawn. I kneel next to her, trying to get her attention. She looks up at me, a blank stare on her face. "Janie, come with me. We need to get you out of here. We need to get you somewhere quiet. Please come with me." I take her hand, and surprisingly she lets me. I help her up and Sam takes her other hand, helping to steady her. She can barely stand up. We all walk to a small part of the island that the adults like to call the grown up spot. This is where we adults come when we want to get away from the kids, and sometimes party when they are asleep. Sam and I walk Janie over to the shaded area and sit her down. I get her to drink some water, and her pale face gets a little bit of color back. Sam tries to give her some fruit, but she refuses to eat anything. I sit with her, and she lets out huge sobs against my shoulder. After a while, Sam and I switched places. As Sam takes care of Janie, I head back to find Conrad. I find him in the kitchen area, fixing drinks. I walk over to him, hugging him from behind. He feels so tense, and I can tell he feels as awful as we do. Maybe more. "Hey, you know it wasn't your fault right?" I say, trying to get him to look at me. He looks at me briefly before looking away. "Conrad? Please talk to me?" He sits at the counter. "But it was my fault. I should have done more, done more to stop it, done more to shield him. We were trying to get into a store to get medical supplies. He came out, being chased by the soldiers. He jumped in the truck and I drove away as fast as I could. The soldiers got in their cars following us, shooting at us the whole time. Next thing I know, Shawn leans out the window shooting back at them. I kept driving, trying to get away. All of a sudden, I hear another shot and Shawn falls back into the seat, blood everywhere. The shots kept coming, and Shawn was covered with bullets. Then I transported us here. See? It was my fault. I should have transported us sooner."

He looks away from me, tears already forming in his eyes. I reach over, taking his hand in mine. I walk over to him, not once breaking eye contact. I sit in his lap and run my hands through his hair. I press my lips to his, running my hands over his strong shoulders underneath his shirt. "Amaria." He breathes. "Let me help you relax. Focus on me." I say, kissing my way down his neck. He looks at me for a second, before returning the passion. His hands roam over my whole body, and then we are lost. Lost in each other. And for the moment, that is enough.

I wake up next forgetting where I am. I look down and see Conrad's arms wrapped around me, and remember everything. I carefully slip out of Conrad's arms and head to the grown up spot to check on Janie. When I get there, I see that Sam has finally gotten her to sleep. She's laying on her side, a jacket draped over her. Sam is sitting leaning against the palm tree. I walk over to him, tapping him to wake him up. "Hey. Everything ok?" He says, looking up at me. I smile. Typical Sam, wanting to take care of everyone else, not worrying about himself. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just wanted to see if you needed anything. Coffee?" He smiles, looking surprised. "Um yeah. Coffee would be great." "Ok. How about I get you some coffee and I'll bring you something to eat too." "Thanks Amaria. I appreciate it." He smiles. I walk back to the kitchen area, slow and lost in thought. When I get there, I see Conrad sitting at the table reading a book and drinking coffee.