To The One That I Would Date

Prologue

I am sure he was here. Or am I really?

The distant sea in the darkness is bickering with my screams with its medium waves.

I kept chanting for his name for almost a hundred of times yet he still hasn't come. I have already begged all the Deities and Gods just to ask for this certain person's presence. Yet they were not entertained as if it wasn't heard.

All I want is to see him one more time.

Gustong-gusto kita makita. You were all I had.

That is what I wanted to tell him before I couldn't find even the shadows of his body.

Even if I knew that you left me here alone, I still want you with me here again.

I'll give you time until you come back to me. No matter how long. That is how important you are to me.

My knees felt weak causing it to fall on the white sand. The tears from my eyes constantly flows through my cheek and the cold breeze is hugging me as well.

Hihintayin kita,

Hahanapin kita, Sol, wherever you may be.

Nagising ako ng biglaan dahil sa aking panaginip. I checked my phone to see what time it is.

4:33 am. Pambihira. 4 hours pa nga lang tulog ko napa-gising na agad?

Napatingin ako sa glass window at nakitang hindi pa ito natatabunan ng kurtina causing it to reveal the darkness from the other side.

I squinted my eyes and sighed. Damn. Inaantok pa ako.

I stood up and slid the curtains so I wouldn't see the gloomy scenery outside. Nakakatakot kasi ng dating. As if I am in a horror movie.

I noticed that it's raining.

Kaya naman pala napanaginipan ko na naman siya, ang taong palaging hinahanap ng aking diwa.

Sol Leon.

He was my first love. 9 years old ata ako nun so it was about 11 years ago. I barely remember his face but I can vividly recall how he well treated me.

He is the standard I set for myself.

Kahit sinong lalaking lumapit sa akin, nobody dared to top him. I may have multiple crushes, siya pa rin ang nakikita ko.

There are still details about him that I can remember. He has this tan complexion and is very much taller than me.

I wonder if he still is.

All he did was to take care of me that it made me feel special. He was there when I was at my worst. He was doing the bare minimum. He was there giving me the best things I've ever known.

I bet no one would believe me if they'd find out that I fell in love in that age. But what else can I do? The butterflies in my stomach has their favourite. At siya 'yun.

Funny how cliché this is but that is how I spent a short memory with him.

I was about to go back to bed when I saw a piece of paper on my desk table.

I remember clearing the mess earlier. Did I miss one?

Kukunin ko sana ito para itapon ngunit nabasa ko ang nakasulat sa harapan.

Para kay Sora

Ano 'to? I don't remember receiving a letter from anyone.

I grabbed the letter and opened it to read what's inside. This letter is keeping my insides wake. Kanina lang e gustong gusto ko nang bumalik sa kama para matulog.

Hindi ko alam kung anong dahilan ng kaba sa aking dibdib. Maybe I am expecting something

Or perhaps, someone.

"There will be us beyond the tenth"

Anong ibig sabihin nito? And who is this from, anyway?

Perhaps,

From you?

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