the way i loved you

narration #5

iris lim

it's 10am already, hindi ako naka-tulog simula nung tinawagan ako ni kiel. i was just crying. natulala ako sa nangyari, i heard the door opened. it was kiel.

"I'm home love, where's my hug?" he opened his arms for me to hut him, hug my ass. parang wala lang sakaniya yung nangyari ah?

"kumain kana? pag hindi pa kumain kana diyan, may niluto ako jan kagabi." I said and went to our room.

sinundan niya ako lara tanungin, "baby, is there something wrong?" he asked me.

"eat with me" he said, hindi ako nagsalita. tumayo ako para mag ayos ng gamit.

"what are you doing? iris?" he asked me, "dun muna ako kayla mama." i answered coldly.

"why so sudden?" he asked me again, hindi na ako sumagot, "iris, ano bang ginawa ko?" tanong siya ng tanong sakin kung anong ginawa niya. he's still asking me, hanggang sa mairita ako.

"Why don't you ask yourself kiel? you're acting that nothing happened, well you're really an actor." His changed switched into confused face.

"tell me, anong ginawa ko? nasaktan ba kita?–"
he asked me again, naiinis na 'ko. naiiyak ako. hindi alam kung anong nararamdaman ko.

"oo kiel! nasaktan mo 'ko! masarap ba?  masarap bang makipag-chuk chakan sa babaeng 'yun?!" i shouted,

"tinawagan mo pa talaga ako ha? tinawagan mo 'ko para marinig yung mga ungol niyo ha? ang sakit kiel! ang sakit sobra!" I said, i broke down.

"w-what do you mean? sinong babae?" he tried to touch me, pero pumiglas ako.

"wag mo 'kong hahawakan!" nonstop of tears that was rolling down my cheeks.

"iris.. listen, i was drunk that time, please don't leave me. hindi ko ginusto yung nangyari, nilasing ako ni claire! pati ako nagulat sa nangya–" I stopped him from explaining by shouting at him.

"ginawa mo pa din, kiel! nasaktan mo 'ko, i trusted you. anong ginawa mo kiel!? anong ginawa mo? .." I hitted him on his chest, keep asking him what did he do.

"kiel naman kasi .. , ang sakit kasi.."

"fuck you kiel!"

"fuck you!"

"I'm sorry.. please let me explain first."

"Anong ie-explain mo? kung pano kayo nag sex? hahaha"

"No, please iris.. hindi ko alam kung anong ginagawa ko that time!"

"talaga ba? bat mo'ko tinawagan?  tangina ka! ginawa mo pang tawagan ako."

"iris, hear me out. I don't know what i was doing last night. I was drunk!"

"Hahahaha grabe, worth it yang explaination mo, nawala ba yung sakit na nararamdaman ko? hindi 'di ba? walang kwenta yang explanation mo!"

"let's fix this please.."

"tapos ano? sasaktan mo nanaman ako? wag na"

"no, please, iris. i promise I'll be more careful. hindi na 'ko lalapit kahit kanino please.."

"no kiel! pano oag nabuntis mo si claire? 'diba sakaniya ka pa din mapupunta kasi kailangan mong panindigan!"

"iris, i love you.. h-hindi siya buntis!"

"dapat ikaw ang maging ng nanay ng magiging anak ko!"

"ewan ko, kiel.. naguguluhan na 'ko. just give me some space. pag iisipan ko"