PUPPY LOVE | Chifuyu Matsuno

04

"Baji-san! Baji-san!"

I ran towards him while holding a pack of peyoung yakisoba. Baji-san turned to me with annoyed eyes. I got used to him now. Baji-san is easily annoyed by me every time I call his name multiple times. It was fun teasing him.

I grinned and sat beside him, catching my breath. It was not a good idea to run on the stairs. Especially that the sun was up.

"I bought you this!" I smiled and showed him the peyoung yakisoba I bought. He didn't eat lunch and I thought of bringing him something to eat. My Mom and I just got back from the grocery store and I didn't went here with Baji-san because of that.

It was another day of hanging out with the few members of Toman here in the shrine. His annoyed glance vanished as soon as he saw what I'm holding, Baji-san smiled and muttered a small thank you before opening the pack of peyoung yakisoba.

"Chifuyu! I thought you won't come!" It was Hakkai, the Second Division's Vice Captain. We became close after Mitsuya introduced me to him. Actually, I've been close with a few Toman members and formed a bond with them.

"Mikey won't stop messaging me again." I sighed, looking away from Mikey who was eating his dorayaki. One time, I didn't attend the meeting because I was having trouble with my homework. I didn't expect him to message me nonstop. He just stopped when I agreed to meet with him.

Hakkai laughed while slapping my back. Souya who's been quiet beside him just smiled apologetically at me. "Hello, Souya. Do you want candy?" I asked and showed him my palm full of candies. He nodded and took two similar candies. Hakkai did the same and I glanced at Sanzu who was watching us the whole time. I shifted on my sit making Baji-san groaned because I elbowed him.

"Sorry..." I mumbled. Sanzu was sitting one stair above us and was looking down at us, Mucho was beside him who was talking to Nahoya. I offered him some candies and he stared at my palm. Ah, the strawberry flavor.

He quietly grabbed all of the strawberry flavors and one blueberry flavor and nodded at me as a 'thank you'. He's weird. But, I like him because he's quiet.

Hanging out with them was still new to me. I'm also been adjusting to the new environment even if it's familiar to me. But my most favorite was hanging out with them outside the delinquent world. Because, I once spend time with them coincidentally. They're fun to be with. But when it comes to fighting, they're hella beasts.

"Baji, did you received any letter?" Draken asks Baji-san more quietly and I had the urge to walk away from them. I know what he's talking about. He's talking about the letters from someone named Kazutora. I've known Kazutora from letters because I've been helping Baji-san write letters for him. Baji-san talks a lot about him that his eyes sparkles every time he mentions his name. I guess he's really special in Baji-san's life.

So special that I can't fill the empty space on Baji-san's heart. And I know I can never compete with him because he was there before me. He knew Baji-san first before me. I should know my place. I feel like I just barged in Baji-san's life, trying to fill and give what Kazutora should be doing.

But, every time Baji-san smiles at me and ruffles my hair...I can't seem to sink those words inside my mind. Baji-san made me feel things I shouldn't feel.

I'm here in Baji-san's side, not him. He's not here. And I feel desperate to think that I can surpass Kazutora in Baji-san's life. I'm selfish, cruel, but I respect what they had before. But, I'm the one who's fighting beside Baji-san and not him. I'm his best friend now.

I observed Baji-san since we met, he's a bit complicated but after some time, I managed to read him. He's not an open book but he opens every pages of his life and lets me read it.

Now, I can tell what annoys or pisses him. I know his favorites. I know how he can keep his hair smooth, silky and shiny. I know what clothes he will wear in summer, rainy days, autumn, and winter. I know some things his friends didn't know. It's because we tell each other some secrets.

And I know he likes boys.

And he knows about mine too.

"You always seem to walk away when Kazutora is involved." Mitsuya-kun asks as I sat on the stair far away from Baji-san. He followed me here to ask that?

"I'm giving them privacy." I smiled even if it's not reaching my eyes. Mitsuya-kun just stared at me before nodding slowly. His gaze going back to where Hakkai and the others were.
"Is he super cool?" I asked, swallowing the bitterness that crept inside me.

Mitsuya-kun chuckles softly. "You're super cool too, Chifuyu." He says and I feel like he's about to say something but he hesitated.

I looked up and found him smiling longingly. He's looking at the top of the shrine, his eyes expresses something I couldn't name. That's also the expression Baji-san wears every time he talks about Kazutora.

Kazutora must be special to them.

Of course, he's special. Because he's one of the founding members of Toman.

My hand trembles as I held the purple charm in my palm. It was a group picture with the younger faces of Toman's higher people. There was Draken, Mikey, Pah, Mitsuya-kun, Baji-san and...Kazutora.

I panicked when the shower sounds vanished. I immediately put it back on Baji-san's pocket and held his phone on my other hand. He asked me to charge his phone...only to find  something that will hurt me.

"I couldn't find your charger, Baji-san." I said hoping he didn't notice the way my voice shake.

"Oh..." He moved some paper on his study desk and continued rummaging through his stuff while still wearing a towel. He didn't even put some clothes!

I sighed and place his phone on his nightstand and made my way to his closet to pull a white long sleeve shirt and sweatpants. I'm sure he's wearing boxers because he always get one before going to shower.

"Put some clothes, Baji-san. I will look for it..." I said giving him the clothes I picked. He turned to me, staring at the clothes. He licked his lower lip as his gaze went to my eyes.

"Okay..." He quietly get the clothes before walking pass me.

I exhaled shakily, touching my flushed cheeks. I didn't dare to look back at Baji-san again and just fixes the papers, manga books, and some stuff on his desk. I can't find his charger through this mess.

I kneeled ij front of his nightstand to open the top drawer. My breathing hitched when I saw what's inside it. I immediately closed it and with trembling hands, I opened the next drawer. It was filled of letters and some unfinished writings. I closed it again and looked at the bed hoping it could be there. But, I was met with Baji-san looking at me.

"Baji-san!" I yelled and clumsily sat on the floor. He smirked as he eyed his nightstand.

"So, did you find it?" He asks.

"N-No." I looked away, my eyes darting on the drawers of his study desk. "I should go look for it-"

"It's fine. I can live without phones." My gaze turned to him and I saw him stood up from his bed and made his way to his desk. I watched as he picked up a paper and a pen.

And I know he's going to write a letter again. He's going to tell the receiver how his day went and ask how he's doing, he's going to write their own fairytale. He's going to write using his pen so it will stay and won't fade away quickly. So that the words will be etched not only on the paper but in the receiver's heart too.

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