PUPPY LOVE | Chifuyu Matsuno

12 : FROM YOU, the love that was fortuitous

"Chifuyu!"

I looked up from the book I was reading and to the door. I quickly stood up and went to the door to open it. "Mom?" I called, seeing her stand in front of my bedroom.

My mom smiled at me before revealing a paper, a letter to be exact. It was almost turning brown now. "It's for you." She says and I carefully grab the paper. Who sent this? I wonders. Before I could ask my mom, she already started talking again. "I saw this in the mailbox." she simply says. "I'm off to work. Call me if something happens, sweetie." She says before landing a kiss on my forehead and left like she didn't drop something important.

I observes the paper and I could say, it is written years ago. I went back to my bed and sat on the edge of it.

"Huh?" my brows furrowed when I didn't see the name who sent the letter to me. I only see my name written on it.

To: Chifuyu Matsuno

I took a deep breath before opening the letter. The first words made me cry and I know that the moment I finished reading this letter, my tears will leave a mark on the paper.

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To you, A love that I will keep.

I may not be able to introduce myself properly to you but here's a little detail about me. I'm Kazutora Hanemiya. One of Tokyo Manji Gang's founding members, and Baji's childhood friend.

From all of the letters Keisuke has sent to me, I've read your name multiple times now. You're helping him write letters for me, for me, who is in juvenile. I've done something unforgivable, unforgettable. I won't still ask for forgiveness because I know what I did. And if they will forgive me which is I know it will be a hard. But, if ever that would happen, I can't express through words what will my feelings would be. Forgiveness isn't easy to give.

You know, sometimes, I can't control my emotions. I have a hard time dealing with my feelings. Keisuke knows all of this. Because, Keisuke is always there for me. He's basically my world. And I thought nothing could replace me. But when he says that he found himself another best friend. I can't help but be angry at you for stealing him away from me. I don't know what I'm feeling but I know that whatever feelings I have for Keisuke grew. Even if I can't see him, even if I can't hear him, the letters he sent to me was the only strength that keeps me standing. He's my only hope. And him finding someone that could easily replace me, because I know myself that I'm not good, I want you to get yourself out of Keisuke's life. I want to get rid of you, Chifuyu.

But then, what would Keisuke think? Will he hate me? Because I will lose my mind if ever. I am Keisuke's childhood friend and you were his present. Chifuyu, he treasures you like he treasures me. From one of the letters he sent me, I read that he wanted me to meet you. He said you're a good person. But, I think it's awkward because I'm a bad person. He describes you as an angel, Chifuyu. I really hate you for taking him away from me. I don't really know much about you but the way Keisuke describes you, I can't help but envy you. You're the perfect person. And I'm the messy fucking asshole everyone knows.

I've been lonely for so long. I've always wanted to be back again. To feel Keisuke's warmth. To see the founding members again if they want to see me. I know they hold a grudge and their broken hearts won't be healed by time. It takes a lot of time. And when, I finally get out of here. I can't wait to beat the shit out of you, Chifuyu. I can't wait to finally meet the angel Keisuke was talking about.

See you soon, Chifuyu Matsuno.

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I can't stop the tears. I can't stop it. I clutches the letter and placed it on my chest, near my heart. I cried, panting and sobs escaping my mouth.

Kazutora loved Baji since then. And I was on the way. If only I...but I loved Baji-san too.

"I'm sorry!" I cried before I dropped on the floor, feeling my knees weakened. I was in the way. Mikey wanted Baji back, and Kazutora wanted his best friend back. And I was like nothing but a follower to Baji. Baji never took interest in me, I should've known. He's only keeping up with me because I'm the one who is beside him.

So, why didn't I realized all of this when Baji left Toman to join Valhalla? I know that it's just a plan to spy on Kisaki. To find information about that guy. But, I didn't know that there's deeper than that. Kazutora was there and Kazutora finally felt the warmth of Baji-san.

Even though, I fell in love with Baji Keisuke. And I repeats again, "This...this feelings will be gone." I says, but I'm wishing that Baji will reciprocate my feelings and it could last forever. But, it won't. The thing is there shouldn't be Chifuyu at Baji and Kazutora. I am the wrong part.

I wanted to keep my feelings for Baji Keisuke but apparently his first love is for someone else.

As I  stood still on the other side of the road, watching Baji-san walk out of the hospital. He's healed. And I hope Kazutora is healed too. He hopes everyone else is healed.

A tear fell down my cheek as Baji-san went inside his mother's car. I covered my mouth to stop the sobs coming out of my mouth. I looked like someone who was kicked out of their house. I feel awful.

I went home crying. I completely ignored the people throwing pitying glances at me. I'll get use to it. I wore the hood of my hoodie to cover my messy face. I ignored Takemichi and Hina calling me as I passed by the playground. I ignored Baji-san who was waiting for me in front of my apartment door. How did he get here so fast?

He's leaning against the wall beside the door. His mouth gaped when he saw me walking like a zombie. It's like I have my own world.

"Fuyu." He called and I flinched, looking down at the doorknob, I was just about to press the passcode.

"Baji-san, are you okay now?" I quickly typed the passcode and when I grab the door handle, I looked back at Baji-san with tired eyes.

Baji's eyes narrowed when he saw how puffy and red my eyes were. "Chifuyu, did you cry?" He asked softly before bringing a hand up to caress my tear-stained cheeks.

My mouth opened and before I could say something. Someone talked behind them. "Baji...?" It was Kazutora who looks like he ran all the way here. How did he even know their address? Well, Baji-san lives here.

Baji turned to look at him and removed his hand on Chifuyu's cheeks. "What are you doing here, Tora?" Baji asks, looking at his friend from head to toe. His eyes softening as he stared at Kazutora's features.

I frowned before turning around and completely opened the door to my apartment. I just want to rest.

"Wait! Chifuyu!" But, a hand on my wrist stopped me. I turned around and looked at Kazutora who was staring down at me with his wide sandy-colored eyes.

Baji-san looks so surprised at what happened. So do I!

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