Payback: Isekai

Victory

The fortress of North Helmdam was in full celebration. Because they win the war, yes, but more so because they managed to keep themselves mostly alive. And unlike the battles before this one, they could celebrate in a more heartfelt way because it was supposed to be the last one. So the fact that they were alive was even more gratifying, because they finally could come home. Especially those that had been stationed in the fortress for a long time. They would still need to wait until the Prince finished up the treaty with the Kingdom's representative, but at the very least, they could spend their days in a merry celebration rather than tensely expecting for an attack. Even the mercenaries were allowed to live in the fortress's ground now, rather than camping in the outer field. It might as well, since it was the mercenary troops that contributed the most to the last phase of the battle.

The one supposed to be the hero of that battle, however, couldn't really be seen. The man was an elusive one, like usual, and rather spend his time on the edge of the fortress wall, staring into the vast battlefield. He wasn't even present when the Prince gave his victory speech and distributed reward, or when the soldiers popped up meads and beers and the kitchen just went crazy with their unlimited meat.

But he couldn't really celebrate, the 'hero'.

Yoohan leaned on the stone wall, staring at the snowy field and hard ground that was marred with burn marks and bloody trails. Even after days, and many processes of cleaning up later, the horrendous smell of death still swirling around between scattered broken armor, steel, and iron, seeping and festering into the already desolate land. And it festered even more on Yoohan's mind.

He took a deep breath with his mouth, feeling the cold air fill his lungs and keep him awake. Yoohan brought his hands to cover his trembling nose and lips, but even those hands were trembling. He tried to close his eyes, but what he saw was black and red, and dead bodies—mountains of dead bodies.

No, it wasn't the dead body that made him tremble—it was his reflection on the armor of the last person he killed. It was his smiling face, his joyful gaze as he reaped someone else's life. It was the way he let himself be consumed by the power that he gained suddenly. It was the lack of remorse on his part.

Yoohan knew that war would demand death. And it wasn't his first time taking someone's life. Yoohan wouldn't pretend to be a holy man who mulling over good and bad and mortal sin, and suddenly feeling guilty of murder.

After all, he already had permanent guilt exhibited in the core of his heart.

He just found it frightening that even that guilt couldn't help him control the impulse brought by the rune's power. It kept him trembling and in fear of himself. What would become of him, if he let himself be consumed by this power? Of this world? Would a day come when he used the power and lost himself and never ever came back to his senses? Causing menace and destroying everything?

"Is it not boring, looking at the battlefield?"

Yoohan turned his head, at his mercenary Captain that still tried to find him at least once a day.

"You should join the celebration at least once," the Captain sat himself beside Yoohan, narrowing his eyes at the harsh wind that always swept into the top of the fortress wall.

"I don't like crowded places."

The Captain scoffed, shaking his head. "It's not like you'll be required to socialize. Just...share a drink or two, let people thank you."

"I don't want to be thanked."

"Let them see you then, just for a bit."

"I don't want to be seen either." Yoohan pulled his hood even lower. He hadn't got any replacement for his destroyed mask, which probably contributed to the reason why he never showed himself.