YOU&I

CHAPTER 14

- You're the only one who's not running away from me. I mean there's also Jieun of course but it's different.. and..

My heart is beating so fast, it's weird. Is it right to have your heart racing like that when you're looking at your friend in her eyes? Is she only my friend?

Of course she is Siyeon! Why would she be something else than your friend. But she said she doesn't like men. Could she..? No! Who would like me???

"Siyeon? Are you even listening?"

"Yes I'm listening to you, I was lost for few seconds.. sorry"

"Why were you lost?"

"Nevermind.. I just feel weird.."

"Weird? What do you mean?"

"Nevermind Sua, forget it and continue what you were saying"

She looked at my lips before getting closer to me. My heart was beating faster and faster as she was coming closer to me. We didn't say anything for few seconds and then Sua hugged me tight. As tight as if it was the end of the world. I felt safe in her arms and I didn't want to let her go now. I want to stay by her side as long as I can. I think I know now how I feel about Sua. Is this love? I've never felt like this before. I feel electricity in my belly and I want to kiss her so bad but I'm too shy and at the same time I'm scared I won't be ever able to do it or even to hug and talk to her. Why does it have to be like that? Complicated but no so complicated? If only I could take her somewhere far from her toxic and homophobic mother.

While I was thinking that, Sua hugged me more tight than before and said

"Siyeon.. I'm sorry to say it like that. It might sound dramatic but.. I really don't want to lose you"

"I don't want that either Sua"

"Promise me you'll still text me even if I'm far from you because of my mum"

"I promise you I won't let you down"

Sua then cried in my arms as she was still hugging me. Few seconds after that she then went back in front of me. She was still crying and I felt bad because I couldn't even help her with her mother.

Sua stopped crying and then said

"I should go now or you might be in trouble because you're with me right now"

"Why ?" I said while taking her arms as she was walking outside.

We looked at each other in the eyes before Sua looked away.

"I don't want you to go Sua" I said while locking the door before she could open it

"What are you doing Siyeon?"

"Please stay and don't go back to your mother and that man"

"I wish I could but I can't Siyeon !"

"Why not??"

"Because.."

"Because what?"

"Siyeon let me go please, it's already hard enough for me to leave you like that.."

"You could run away from your mother and tell her you're old enough to make your own choices.. Why can you not live your life alone?"

"Siyeon! You really don't understand how hard it is right now??", she said a bit mad and sad at the same time

"Then tell me.. explain me why you can't just live by yourself?"

Sua didn't let any words go out of her mouth for few minutes and finally said

"I could live by myself, I'm already doing that.. but my mum.. she.."

"She?"

"She's kind of popular here and you know.. she will always try to.."

"Well I see why it's complicated.. But why don't you move to another city or even another country?"

"Because if I move to another city then.."

"Then what? You'll have your own life with your own choices isn't it goo.."

"That means I will have to leave you too Siyeon.. and I don't want to go away from you. I want to stay with you because I feel good when I'm around you. I feel more myself when I'm with you and I don't want to be with someone else than with you Siyeon.."

As she was talking I was thinking about kissing her but it was too early to do that I guess and I was still shy.

"Siyeon.. If you don't feel the same way as I do please tell me now so then I could go without having regrets.."

"Sua.. I-"

"It's ok, I'll just go.. you don't have to say anything or even to listen to me" she said as she was walking to me to unlock the door.

"Sua.."

"Let me go Siyeon, please"

I took Sua's hand and put her closer to me. I could feel her breath against my face. She was surprised and I was too not gonna lie. I then let her hand down and put mines on her face. I got closer to her as I saw her teary eyes looking at me. We both went close to each other. We were so close that I could hear her heart beating. I then approached my lips to her lips, closed my eyes and kissed her while my tears were falling.

I've never felt like this while kissing someone. I've never kissed someone liked this. It's sweet but at the same time so intense. So many things are happening to my body like the butterflies in my belly. Feeling like it's the end of the world while kissing her. Finally kissing her.

We stopped kissing. I made eye-contact with Sua as I was wipping my tears. She smiled at me and looked so happy. Her smile was so amazing that she could make everyone fall for her just by smiling.

"I guess you feel the same way as I do, right?" she asked while laughing

We both laughed and hugged each other very tight. I unlocked the door. Sua was looking at me without moving.

"Thank you for existing and being part of my life Siyeon" she said as she went out.

"Thanks to YOU for being there and opening up to me. I don't think I would have ever tell you how I feel. I still don't know how I feel to be honest, but you make me feel safe when I'm with you and I.."

"Damn you look like you're in love with me!" she said in a sarcastic way while laughing

"I mean it's not tha.."

I couldn't finish my sentence that we heard a familiar voice getting closer to us.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING TOGETHER AGAIN??"