Life

Chapter 5 - Soul Mates

Only a few moments later, and I was sitting in front of my tombstone, in a criss cross position. It was very surreal, as the wind blew threw my clothes, and around me.

I stared down at my tombstone, while thinking deeply about the life I've lived up until now. Previously, I tried to talk to my mom and Sora, even apologize to them, but nothing worked. They didn't notice I was there or anything. And the more I watched, the more I saw how much pain I brought to them. When I was alive, and even now that I'm dead.

The more I think, the more I realize that there was a reason I wanted to go back in the first place. Not because I loved life, or hated the way I died. It was because I had a feeling that my life was trash, and I couldn't just leave it like that. Though I didn't want to face the trashy life that I had, because I was sure that I would make it back to that life.

I was wrong.

Early in my life, I'd always been a pretty happy kid. Especially when my biological dad would play with me. He always would, and it was the happiest moments of my life, before I turned 8. My mom dumped him, and she told me that it was because he was abusive and he would hit her. She didn't tell me this until I was about 13, which was the same age that he passed away at. When I saw my mom with another man, and another child at 8, I felt so mad. I felt like my dad was replaced without much explanation. That's why I grew hostile to my brother, and distance myself from my mom.

When my mom told me my biological dad was abusive, I didn't want to believe it. How could the man that gave me so much smiles do something like that? But now I realize that people have underlying feelings and actions all the time. Kind of like Suruyu. I turned to drugs and gangs around 15, and I even got in trouble with the law a few times.

As I self reflect on the life that I lived, I stare down at the tombstone with watery eyes that started to accumulate. I started to feel guilty, and emotional, as I looked down. "I'm sorry Tsuki..I failed you. I failed you so hard. If only I was more open about how I felt, and not believing that I had to be strong all that time. If I didn't distance myself from Suruyu and my mom, maybe we both would be alive right now." I spoke to myself, who was laying underground in a casket. This was the life that I lived. I wasn't a good guy. I wasn't sweet like my mom. I wasn't innocent like my brother. I wasn't so passionate like Suruyu. I was a piece of shit a lot of the time. Almost my whole life. But it's too late to come to terms with that.

"Damn it me.." I say in a mumbled tone, as I start to clench my teeth and fists, with tears falling from my eyes. "Why? Why did I have to leave such a terrible fucking mark?! Why? I mean why couldn't I do anything positive with my life?! All I did was hurt other people and fuck up theres. Is this really it for me? Is this right here really it for Tsukis legacy?!" I screamed emotionally, as I looked up at the grey clouds in the sky. The tears continued to fall from my eyes, and I felt myself breaking down the more I thought about this life. Even in the afterlife, I couldn't complete something positive. Couldn't save the afterworld, and Memory world. I wonder if it's an issue with my soul.

Meanwhile, In the memory world. They were all still at the winter festival. "I'm glad the god of souls left. Seems like he thought Suruyu was gonna go through her door, so he felt no need to force her.." Heasa said to Heasu and Suruyu.

"We have to get him back. We can't just let him be stuck as a lost soul. Plus what about the afterworld and all that stuff he was gonna save?!" Suruyu demanded as she paced around back and forth infront of the guardian angels. Heasa and Heasu looked at eachother with a bit of skepticism.

Heasu then turned his head to face Suruyu, who was pacing in a very anxious and worried way. "Remember when Heasa and I said that you two are soulmates?" Heasu asked, causing Suruyu to stop, and focus her attention to him.