The one that got away

Chapter 5

Once I calmed down enough, Bellamy took me to see my dad's grave. I let my mom watch Dylan, she didn't need to see me fall apart again. He held my hand and I stood there for what felt like hours. I couldn't believe that after such a full life, all that was left to remember him was a gray stone. I kept reading his name: Jake Griffin, father, husband, friend, over and over again. There wasn't enough space to fill in the dash. He was more than just those three words. He was my hero.

I closed my eyes as the wind picked up. Bellamy cleared his throat, "the funeral was small. Your mom didn't invite everyone. She thought it would be too much."

I squeezed his hand, "I wish I could've been there."

It took a few more minutes of silence for me to pull myself together. Once I did I knew I had to go back to Dylan. She was probably ready for her nap. She was an easy baby, kept to a tight schedule. Plus I knew I could use it as an excuse to go back to Bellamy's house.

My mom didn't protest, Dylan was practically asleep on her lap when we got back to the house. Bellamy lifted her with ease and I gave my mother another hug. She squeezed me and I knew no matter how hard she was on me I could always come home. We might have our differences, but she was still my mom. She was the only parent I had left.

"That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," I felt myself relax once we got back to the house. I felt more at home in his little space than I ever did in that big house I grew up in, "Dylan definitely took a lot of the pressure off me."

He smiled, sitting across from me at the table, "your mom missed you, even if she didn't tell you. She wanted me to come get you for the funeral. She told me I was the only one who could convince you to come home."

I nodded, "if you would've shown up when he wasn't there, you could've convinced me."

"She thought so too," he sighed and then looked out the window.

His phone vibrated, "Bell don't think you can't make plans on account of me. I don't want you sitting around here bored because I'm here. I can entertain myself, I've done it for the last two years."

He smiled, "I know. I've just missed you. I don't want to leave you here alone. It's been too long now."

I saw the message flashing between us, "well it looks like Roma wants that date you owe her," I pushed down the jealousy, "go have fun. I'll be fine I promise."

He sighed, "if you're sure."

"I'm sure. Raven keeps calling me so I guess since I actually put myself together today I'll let her come over. She'll probably bring Finn who will bring Jasper. So in essence everyone will be here," I smiled and squeezed his hand, "I won't be alone. I know you're worried about me. But I'm okay. Contrary to what happened earlier today, I'm stronger than I look."

"I know you are," he stood up and kissed my forehead, "I just don't know if I am."

I wasn't sure what that meant, but he left me sitting in the kitchen. I didn't think about it too hard, since my mind flashed to the little get together I wanted to have. I was excited to see the gang again. I had missed having my friends that weren't attached to John. I had missed having a night where I laughed and had fun without being afraid I was having too much fun. I smiled as I typed a message to Raven. I didn't hear I watched as Octavia walk into the kitchen.

"So how did it go?" She threw her keys down and I jumped slightly as I put my phone away. I let out a breath and sat up straighter as she stared at my face. I could tell she was surprised at how easily I had covered the bruises.

I shrugged, "as well as expected. Mom was all over Dylan, hard on me. Oh and thanks for telling me my dad died."

She sighed, "I told him to tell you. He said it wasn't his place, he didn't want to give you more bad news. How are you holding up?"