The one that got away

Chapter 8

So this chapter will make you smile if you've been crying! I love all your comments, thanks so much!

-----

I had never been so hunger over in my life as I was the day after our dinner. I slept in late and then I woke up to a little blonde monster bouncing on my chest. I didn't puke, much to my surprise. It took me all day to bounce back. I spent most of it in bed with Dylan watching a movie she picked. Halfway through I realize that Bellamy hadn't slept in the bed. When I went downstairs I saw the blankets on the couch. He wasn't home, there was a note telling me he was out. He didn't come home until after we went to bed. He didn't sleep in his bed that night either.

That was almost a week ago now. He was avoiding me. At least that's what it felt like.

He wouldn't look at me when he talked, he only said a few words. We were both skating around each other, too afraid to ask the other what they really felt. I would catch him staring at me in the evenings, but when I met his eyes he would look away. I didn't come to him for this, that's exactly why I didn't tell him how I was feeling.

I was too afraid of losing my best friend. I could handle everything else. I couldn't handle losing Bellamy on top of everything else. I knew Dylan wouldn't be able to either. This awkward air around us was worse than losing him all together. I needed to talk to him about this, but every time I tried he found an excuse to leave.

I didn't have a lot of time to worry about what was happening between us. Because after our dinner Dylan got clingy.

Dylan was fussier than normal for the next couple days. She wouldn't let anyone but me and Bellamy hold her. She wouldn't go to sleep for me either, she wanted Bellamy. He would rock her to sleep, her little body warm. I would watch from the doorway, listening to him hum a little melody to her. She might look like me, but she sure as hell looked like she belonged to Bellamy.

That's how the last week went, Bellamy taking care of Dylan and avoiding me. We would have small conversations, few words passed between us. Bellamy would leave me notes telling me he had picked up work, or that he was out with someone. Usually it was Roma, which rubbed me the wrong way. I mean he sounded pretty sure he didn't want her anymore that night. When he was home he would talk to Dylan, he would play with her. If he had to interact with me it wasn't for long. We would eat together, I would try to start a conversation and he would nod his head.

I hated the change that had taken place between us because we kissed. But I had no idea how to reverse the affects it had.

While Bellamy was out dealing with whatever it was he was dealing with, Finn took me to see his lawyer friend. Octavia had offered to watch Dylan for me while we were there. I was grateful, I knew she wouldn't want to sit in a boring office all day long. Especially since it was almost a forty minute commute both ways.

He was pretty nice, he told me I had a case. I showed him the pictures Octavia took of my face my second night here. He put in a request for a restraining order and told me I had every right to have sole custody of my daughter. He didn't push me for more story, he didn't seem to be interested in anything else. He was nice enough and he was doing Finn a favor. He told me if we went to court he would give me a break on the cost. I was grateful for that.

Things seemed to be looking up after that meeting. John kept away, Bellamy must have scared him pretty good. Octavia and Dylan were getting along famously, she took to her as much as Bell. They would giggle and laugh, she would chase her around. I think Octavia had more baby fever than she was letting on. I was grateful for his sister, if he was going to be awkward, at least I had her to converse with.

It was exactly a week after our kiss that her body temperature spiked. Bellamy was out with Roma, Dylan was fussy because he wasn't there to rock her. She felt safe in his arms, I understood. I felt the same way. Except I was too much of a coward to ask him about our kiss. I was too afraid I would break the thin ice we were so carefully walking on ever since it happened.