Khabar-e-Tahayyur-e-Ishq

Dasht-e-Tanhai

The sound of a baby crying startles Anuj awake. He averts his gaze and notices the pale light of the living room streaming in through the door's slit. The time is 4:30 a.m., according to the clock on his nightstand. He turns off the alarm clock set for 5 a.m., walks into the living room, and is greeted by the lovely sight of his daughter, Adhira. Mira was attempting to soothe Adhira while also preparing formula milk for his year-old daughter. Since Anu's departure two months ago, Adhira is the only person who keeps him going and brightens his life. He says, taking Adhira from Mira,

"Mujhe utha dena tha na, kitni baar kaha hai ki jab Adhira extra fussy ho mujhe utha diya karo. Aur aaj toh waise bhi mera turn hai usko dekhne ka"

"Utha deti agar tum aaj Adhira ko mujhse dur Bhuj nai leke jaane wale hote," replied Mira, giving a faint smile to Anuj.

Cradling Adhira in his arms, he walks from the kitchen to the sitting area and ponders about his impending meeting with Anu. He will meet her in two hours, yet he still doesn't know what he will say to her. He wonders how she will react to Adhira.

He is giving her space, biding his time. For the past 2 months, it is his routine to call her once and then WhatsApp her "Mujhe pata hai ki maine tumhe bahut chot pahunchaee hai, lekin main haar nahin maanoonga. Tum jitana chahiye utna time le sakti ho, main wait karunga tumse baat karne k liye. Main tumhare dil ko jaanata hoon aur main apane dil ko jaanata hoon. Mujhe ummeed hai ki ham kabhi ise doorie ko kam kar lenge." He hoped everyday she'd answer his call or respond to a message, but each attempt was futile. Her words echoed in his ears; he could still hear the pain and trembling in her voice, and the terrible shock and hurt in her eyes pierced his heart."Aapne mujhe bataya kyu nai Anuj? Ye ek paal ki kamzori thi ya fir aap usse pyaar karte hai? "

When she opened the door, Anu was dressed in a black saree with light natural make-up. He could see the effort she had taken in dressing up. She might have planned a surprise date night celebrating his homecoming after a long trip, which he will ruin soon. He walked inside their home, carrying Adhira in his arm and Mira walking behind carrying their bags. She looked confused and surprised at first, but the look on his face drained the colour from her. She asked, "Anuj, Kya baat hai? Aap itne pareshaan kyu hai? Aur Mira aapke saath? Sab theek hai na? "

"Main Adhira and Mira ko guest bedroom main settle kar du fir baat karte hai."

"Arre par khanaa; usne khanaa nai khaya hoga. Main abhi khanaa laga deti hu."

"Khanaa raaste main kha liya tha. Don't worry."

He settles Adhira and Mira in the guest bedroom, returns to Anu in the living room, and says, "Tumne khanaa kha liya hai?"

"Nai par vo... ye sab... Mira... Apka chera... Mujhe kuch samaj nai aa raha"

"Maine bhi khanaa nai khaya hai. Khanaa khate hai fir batata hu"

"Vo khanaa maine bedroom-balcony main lagaya hai. Par aap batyae ne. Mujhe bahut ghabrahat ho rahi hai."

"Chalo khanaa khalete hai please"

Pulling her along, Anuj enters the bedroom. Anu had decorated the room with roses. Unlit candles were lying everywhere, and when he considered the impending future, his heart shattered into a million pieces. The mood is sombre, and they dine in silence. Anu is becoming agitated since he is not able to swallow a single morsel of food. He gives fake smile reassuring Anu and encouraging her to eat more food. He needs to make sure she eats plenty because he knows she won't have food for a while following the announcement. He won't be able to console her in any way because she might not want to see his face. As soon as they finish dinner, Anu insists, "Anuj bataye ne vo bachi kon thi? Aur Mira achanak yaha?"

He cannot respond. He just can't. It will likely be the last time he sees her face full of love and worry for him. He responds, "Ye sab khanaa and plates rakh de fir batata hu" borrowing the last few moments.

He and Anu refrigerate the leftovers and leave dirty dishes in the sink. He can't help but stare at Anu's eyes, the sparkle in them completely turns his world upside down. He curses fate for making him steal her beautiful radiance. The air in his bedroom is heavy and he is unable to breathe. He takes a deep breath and says, "Idhar aao Anu, baithe k baat karte hai"

"Anuj please kuch boliye. Ab mere se nai raha ja raha"

"Anu vo meri beti hai. Meri aur Mira ki" replied Anuj

He saw her crumpling on the floor. She sat there wrapping her arms around her knees trying to protect herself from the hurt caused by his words and uttered, "Kyu?"

He sat in front of her, holding her hand and recounting the most agonising three days of his life. She was Cuttack for a hockey world cup's inauguration, while GK was in Bhuj doing maintenance on their ancestral home. After dropping her at the airport that day, the officer from Indian defence intelligence arrived with the news of Mukku's death. He was profoundly broken when he failed his final responsibility. He and Mira had sought solace in one another over their shared loss of Mukku. He had no idea what she had heard, but she eventually uttered those words.

"Anuj" called Mira snapping him out of his dark thoughts "Lao, Adhira ko mujhe de do aur tum jaldi ready ho jao. Tum logo ko aaj Bhuj k liye nikalna bhi hai na." He hands over Adhira to Mira and makes his way to his bedroom. He selects Anu's favourite white shirt and goes for a bath hoping this trip would finally help him start making amends with Anu. "Help karjo anu k kaanhaji, please"