Khabar-e-Tahayyur-e-Ishq

Ae Mohabbat Tere Anjam Pe Rona Aaya

Tired Anu sits on her bed rather than getting ready for the trip. Suddenly she shivers with overwhelming cold. She will be meeting Anuj in thirty minutes, and she spirals into the hurt and pain that she felt two months ago. All she could think about was how Anuj had left her with heartbreak and how she had made a fool of herself all over again.

When Anuj confessed, she fell to her knees because she didn't have the strength to stand. She pressed up against the wall, knees to her chest, arms tucked tightly behind her back. She was shaking, but whether from the pain or the thoughts she had tried so hard not to think assaulting her mind, she couldn't tell.

Then she cried silent tears, chasing each other down her face, hanging from her jaw, and dropping to her knees.

She closes her eyes, willing herself to stop the tears. She suddenly realized that her life had become a nightmare.

It wasn't like that.

It wasn't even a nightmare, because nightmares were still dreams, and this wasn't.

It was reality.

Anu wished everything had become a blur after that. She wished to forget everything, to pretend that it was all a bad dream, and when she woke up, she would see herself cocooned in Anuj's protective arm. He would be tracing his finger along her collarbone, leaving feather-light kisses on the left side of her neck, while whispering how much he loved her.

*I  have a fetish for Rupali 's neck tbh. Her neck and shoulder are so beautiful and her collar bones are just uff 😍*

Anu sucked in a shuddering, hiccupping breath. She pressed her fist to her mouth, trying so hard to fight the sobs that wanted to rip from her chest. She felt sick enough to throw up, so cold, and so utterly tired from exhaustion that no sleep would remedy it. She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her forehead to her knees.

Their relationship was now a shooting star that had soared through Anu's darkness, bringing light for an ephemeral moment, before plunging her back into the same cold night once it disappeared.

The self-hatred that was coursing through her at her folly in thinking she could have someone who loved her, who was kind and respectful, but all she had was the icy pain of the stinging betrayal. The most important person to her had knowingly hidden the truth from her. She thought about the fact that Anuj never confessed. He should've, but of course, how would that have gone? It would be difficult to accept, but she would eventually. So maybe what hurt wasn't that they hadn't told him, but that thought that it was not important enough for her to know. Even though the incident took place before her confession, the difference was of a month. Anuj, though, had confessed his feelings for her long before. Maybe Anuj and Mira never stopped loving each other. They were together for 4 years and engaged for 2 years before breaking up. With the news of Malvika's death, Anuj was sinking, and because he loved her so much, it was easy for him to find that glimmer of hope with Mira. Maybe they pitied her past, and therefore, when she confessed her love a month later, Anuj married her instead of Mira. She couldn't help but wonder what else she had been wrong about. Will she ever be enough? Why did she have to go through this pain again? Did she not deserve love and happiness, or was this all her fault? She was just left with this all-encompassing pain and panic. It was funny to think that it was less painful when she was in an unhappy marriage with Mr Shah. She had been so happy and so content with this new marriage, and it's like she now realizes that it was all just an illusion. Her breath started coming in short gasps; she tried focusing on her breath, but she could not, and she passed out.

When Anu woke up from her enforced sleep, she was next to Devika, not next to him. She had hugged her tightly, whispering in her ear how strong she was and that she would be there for her, acting as if her words meant something to Anu.

Anu just felt numb, and her chest hurt so much that it had dulled all his other senses. Everything felt muted, like she was watching everything behind a fogged screen.

Anuj appeared sometime after, dressed in clothes he might have changed the night before. She was still in last night's attire. There were clothes for her at the end of the bed. Anu didn't have any strength or will in her body to do something as mundane as changing clothes, so it had been Devika's task.

Anuj tried talking to her, but she didn't have it in her to listen to him. Devika, her sweet Devika, was giving daggers to Anuj. Anu didn't say a word, not caring about anyone. She just packed her bags and asked Devika if she could temporarily live with her until she finds new accommodations for herself.

Anuj pulled her pallu one last time when she was leaving, but she took it out of his hand without turning back.

She wanted to turn back and hug him, but she couldn't.

Not with the last image she had of him telling her he had a child with Mira.

After that morning, when she went away, she focused on forgetting Anuj, and then she would free him when she felt strong enough to move on. She focused on rebuilding her life again. This time, there are no emotions.

In her new life, the laughter of playing children filled the apartment's park. Couples taking strolls in the park hold hands and enjoy their time together. She had nothing of that. Only emptiness. Her children visited her, but they were always busy with their classes, offices, or events.

There was no laughter filling her mornings. No stolen caresses or love-filled gazes. No cuddles or cheek kisses. There was no voice saying Shayri for her. Her once-dreamed life was now just a shell containing memories and heartbreak. Devika and her children would do everything they could to cheer her up, especially on weekends, but nothing seemed to matter to her anymore. She spent most of her days drowning herself in the dance academy. She would wear herself out by the evening when Samar would drop her off at home. During dinner, Devika would be unusually chatty, but she would give only a terse reply. Then she would go to sleep, where it would evade her but the deafening silence of night would bring her some solace. She hated this new, uncomfortable bed and the cold space on her left. She would miss Anuj and his unusually hot body, which had kept her warm during the cold winter nights. And in her weakness, she will simply cry herself to sleep because she wishes to return to a simpler time and wake in the arms of her Anuj.

A sudden banging of the door had brought her back. She was having shortness of breath, so she started focusing on her breathing and counting backwards from 10. She steadies herself and replies to Devika, "Ha 5 min, tyaar ho rahi hu"

"Jaldi kar vo log aa gaye hai. Samar aur toshu saaman leke chale bhi gaye niche"

"Theek hai, theek hai. Waise Devika tune kitchen counter pe rakhi strepsils aur benedryl le li hai na"

"Nai. Vo kyu leni hai?"

"Vo Anuj k liye. Jab honeymoon k liye bhuj gaye the tab anuj ko vo kya bolte hai... Moson... Moson sickness ho gai thi," Anu said, opening the bedroom door and walking over to the counter.

Her smile faltered as she realized the state of her relationship. That home in bhuj has been her paradise, containing the happiest and most precious moments with Anuj.

Hugging her from behind, Devika said, "Sab theek ho jayega. Chale?"

"Hmm"

Precap: She knows that when she separated from Anuj, a small piece of her was chipped away from her heart, even though she didn't want it to be or even if she didn't need it to be, there was a piece chipped away nonetheless. It doesn't matter how painful the separation was or how much of the decision to end things was right. When she sees him again, she sees a piece of her heart—a fiber of the heart muscle that she gave him two months ago.