from the bottom of my heart, i love you.

qingyun peak

this chapter implies smut!

"paimon is sure it's not just that, lumine!" the small fairy argued as the traveller laid on her bed, exhausted. this...had been the worst day in liyue. "i'm fine, paimon. really." lumine reassured her travel companion with the saddest smile anybody could muster up. "whatever you say, lumine." paimon said disencouragedly. lumine didn't seem to notice, and just ignored it. "uhm, paimon thinks you need a long rest. the bone in your forearm was showing." she said in a somber voice, "you're right. here, paimon. go get yourself some food." the traveller handed paimon a bag of mora, containing just enough to feed the ravenous fairy. "woah....thank you! paimon will eat like a king tonight!" the little fairy puffed her chest out and seemed to vanish. the outlander sighed and lazily stared at the ceiling.

every kiss he had just given her felt like everything she'd ever wished for. every pound into her, all the love bites, and every mark he had left would be cherished for the rest of her life. his whispers in her ear would make her feel swarms, and swarms of butterflies. every sweet noise that left her mouth were music to the harbinger's ears. every lustful look the two had shared were precious to lumine, she loved him with all of her. every cell in her body was in love with him. it just seemed like his didn't feel the same.

lumine fell asleep. all of their memories flew back and forth through her mind once more. she hated it. she hated loving him. all she ever wanted was just his touch, and she's too late. she decided to screw getting better. she got up hesitantly and checked herself out of the hospital. she immediately made her way to liyue harbor, straight to kathryne. "back already, traveller? we have four commissions for you, actually, today. are you up for it?" the outlander nodded, checking what they were. "also, right after you left for inazuma, another person has been working hard on commissions. i think his name was tartouga? strange name. i can never seem to remember." the color drained from lumine's face. tartaglia? he was...doing commissions now? she questioned silently, spacing out. "-anyways, you should get going. i wonder if he'll come over to help or not?" lumine thanked her and quickly went to where her first commission was, jueyun karst. 

she was supposed to guide the balloon across this path without it breaking. "childe would've loved bragging to me about this." she chuckled sadly. "i would've loved this?" she heard a familiar voice behind her. "the kathryne lady told me you were here and suggested for me to come too." he grinned. not cheekily. not like how he used to grin at her. now all of them were for alonya. "oh." lumine sounded, she wasn't very happy to see him. "hey, what's wrong, lumine?"  that was a pang to her heart. "lumine again.." she muttered, disappointed, but not surprised. "you can tell me anything, y'know? i'll always be here." lumine grit her teeth and balled up her hands. "no you were not." she said quietly, scowling with her brows furrowed. "huh?" "no you were n-" she said a little louder, finally looking in his eyes. her scowl dropped when she saw the shine in his eyes she had never seen when they were together. "lum-" "what happened to girlie? what happened to ojou-chan? to comrade? to lumi?" "lumine i-" she cut him off. "why can't i just hear you call me girlie again?" she murmured quietly, her cheeks stained with tears. "you left me. you- i thought we had something. i wish i never loved you." 

"lumine..i just- i couldn't be with you, okay? i loved you! i really di-" "exactly. did. how can i even believe you loved me anymore? your eyes shine more when you're with alonya than when you were with me." she spat out alonya's name like a slur. "you know what? it wasn't my fault i cared about you and didn't want you hurt if you were with me! it wasn't my fault im scared to hurt you. its not my fucking fault." childe yelled, lashing out back at her. "its not my fault you aren't like alonya-" "oh. so that's how it is. i never was never enough for you, huh? fuck you." the girl took off running at full speed, straight towards qiyun peak.

TARTAGLIA'S POV

shit. shit shit shit. before he knew it, he had said something horrible. "lumine, wait! no i'm sorry." but before his words could reach her, she was gone. "you dumb piece of shit." he said to himself, running as fast as humanely possible with little dashes of his delusion, he made his way to the top of qingyun peak. spotting the blonde riding a wind current up onto some kind of platform, he decided that he needed to apologise immediately. once he finally rode the wind current, lumine was standing at the edge. "LUMINE! NO!" the taller ran towards the ledge and held onto her like how he should've when he whispered those three words. "what..what do you want?" lumine said in breaks of words, sniffles in between each and every one of them. "i'm..i'm sorry." he muttered. no, she deserved better than just soft words. "lumine, i'm so fucking sorry. i really didn't mean that. please, don't...don't jump." 

he held her tighter than he would teucer. "i'm sorry i left. and i don't know what i was doing back then. i just...can we still be friends?" the harbinger begged, not wanting her to leave his life again, whether it was because of him or not. the blonde finally turned his way and hugged him tight. it was a hug  of bottled up pain and longing. he didn't love her as a partner anymore, but he still cared for her deeply. "i'm so sorry for all the tears i've made you let out." he whispered in her ear, terrified of what lumine had done to herself when he was away from her life. he knew she was easily nerved, he knew she wouldn't be able to take it well if he ever told her he had a girlfriend. but he also knew that she deserved the truth. for everything he's done.

LUMINE'S POV
"friends..huh." nothing could ever compare to the amount of happiness he had given her when they still loved each other. she loved him so much. she didn't know what she would've done if he never came to her rescue when fighting azhdaha. she would've died. of loneliness and of azhdaha's power. "fuck. i love you so much more than you know." lumine would think, pushing back those words. she knew he had a girlfriend. she knew he loved alonya more than he ever loved her. "friends. yeah." she let go and took a seat on one of the benches that stood on this platform. childe followed suit. she longed for him to just call her a pet name once more. even if it was something stupid that she hated. "call me girlie again. please" she muttered softly, so soft she thought for sure that he wouldn't hear. "what did you say?" "nothing." she felt deja vu. a hand was on her chin once more. "what did you say, lumine?" it wasn't the same. "i said its nothing." she swatted his hand away and looked back on the ground. "i should get going." lumine said firmly. she stood up, and jumped off. propelling her wind glider, she travelled back to liyue harbor, where her foster parents lived.