Last Shadow || Deception Book III

Ch. 6 Pt. III

"If only," I whispered, reaching up to touch his face. "Perhaps in another universe, where all we would need is each other, where we were free to make our own choices." My hand trailed down to skim his jawline. "But we're in too deep." I flicked my wrist and my dagger flew out, the cold metal pressed to his neck. Luke flinched, his eyes darkening, but didn't back away. "We don't belong to ourselves. To each other." I gritted my teeth, trying to keep my hands from shaking, and pressed my blade deeper. It won't hurt him, I told myself, even as every fibre of my being was screaming at me to sheathe the knife lest I hurt the one person I loved. It stopped as if it had met a wall of iron. "You bathed in the Styx."

He leaned into my hand, smirking cruelly as I quickly sheathed it. "So you knew already."

"I dreamed it," I whispered, blinking away my tears. "Every single time I fell asleep in the labyrinth, I dreamed of you." I felt Luke shudder against me and squeezed my eyes shut at the anguish that swept over me. "I saw your pain when you woke up to find me gone. Your anger at Kronos and the Titans. Your anguish and despair at the Styx." Our faces were so close I could see the slight flutter of his lashes with every bated breath he took and, in the face of his raw expression, latching on to the end of every word I said, something in me shattered. "The fear in my absence that haunted your footsteps. The shadow you turned into as you waited, day by day, week by week, month by month, for me to come back." I reached up to trace my finger against the scar on his face and saw myself reflected in his eyes, saw the bitterness and love he felt and closed my eyes at the heartache that swept through me like splintered glass.

"I've said it a million times before, I know, and it's alright if you don't believe me, but I'm sorry," I gasped, tears leaking beneath my lashes. "You don't have to forgive me, Luke. I haven't even forgiven myself." I clenched my hands against his chest, feeling the steady, constant thud of his heartbeat beneath my palms. "But I'm sorry. Sorry for everything I've done to you. I don't deserve your love." 

I broke our gaze and turned my head to the side. "You should hate me. I hate myself for doing this to you. You've always been there for me. Constant. Unchanging. And I?" I laughed, "you're right. All I've ever done is leave. And what I hate the most is that I know I made that promise while knowing that I could never keep it. So it's okay if you walk away. To leave. It's the only thing I've done to you, anyway."

For a long moment, Luke didn't say anything, and I thought that maybe, he was going to leave. It's better that way, I told myself even as the last of my heart shattered.

"I could never hate you, nor leave you," Luke muttered finally, reaching out to gently turn my face towards him. I stopped breathing as I saw the shining, unconditional love in his eyes. "While you were gone, I vowed to myself that I'd wait, no matter how long it took. For you to come back. Because I've already given you my heart. Do what you want with it; break it, step on it, it doesn't matter. It was only ever yours, anyway."

He leaned closer and gently started kissing away my tears. I closed my eyes, feeling indescribable relief sweep through me, those jagged glass shards smoothing over as molten warmth poured over to forge something new, something glowing, and released a sigh I didn't know I'd been holding. Luke pulled back long enough to meet my gaze, and then he leaned closer again to bring his lips to mine. This wasn't a fierce kiss that brought electric fire into my veins. I tasted salt and felt the myriad of emotions in that one, single kiss, but it felt like the sight of an island after years of storms at sea. This was one born of love and relief, a cool breeze in the heat of summer, a warm fire in the chill of winter.

Home. With him, I was home.

My hands snaked into his soft hair as he pulled me closer, the heat from his body smoothing away the last of the cracks within me.