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Reading the corner of my room with a book in my hand where I wonder in the words of these pages.
As I apply the events into reality that I knew will never happen. It was delusional of me, to assume forever could exist
in a world that hasn't even begun.
This is my world, it always starts before it even started. Nostalgia, it has been repeated million times before it has even ended.
I took a pleasure of it, thou it has it consequences. Because of this it hurts more than it should be. I created this wound, I created my wounds. I rather took a blame of my foolishless because I knew they are things in the world thats inivitable.
To live is to feel pain. We can never experience happiness if we don't know what pain feels like. The more unreachable something, the more we want it, the more it is satisfying to have.
Isn't awesome?
How are mind played with our worlds. How we think affects it, how we can magically change everything by looking at the right perspective?
Thou we know that's how it works, not everyone could do it. It takes effort to put actions in words. That's why I never believed someone's empty promises. Instead I look through their actions cause it'll say more, more than you could have expected.
"Action says more than words." I whispered as the book fell into my face. I relaxed my body into my bed and moved the book in my face allowing me to see my ceiling. Where dream catchers swinging as it flows with the wind outside my window.
"So you never meant any of it." The wind blew hard, hard enough to blew the curtain as the sunlight entered, blinding me in the process. I closed my eyes, I have been in my room all day my eye hurts from the light. I stood up and closed my window.
I hate that sunlight, I hate that it was way too bright for me, that when it reaches me, I was vunreable, and I wasn't able to do anything. That I was letting my self get warmed up, and get comfortable, and the fact it gets too hot for me. To hot I was almost burnt from the consequences of those selfishness. That is what I am trying to avoid so I keep my windows close. Lessing the interaction. Until .. finally... I could handle the heat on my own.
