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"He doesn't deserve any of this..." I looked in a book in my hand and smiled bitterly as the letters fall from its content.
"If only I could erase these words and bury them in place I cannot remember..." But I knew it was already impossible, as I already put the shelf in the my favorite ones.
It'll be harder to remove, harder to forget. If only I haven't put it there in the first place.
If only I didn't fall in love with you in the first place, then I wouldn't have to experience, disaapointment, pain and rejection. I never learnt, I should have already known. People doesn't change- no, more like...
I wasn't impactful enough to change you.
Being aware that I'm just a side character in your life, I atleast wanted to stand out. I wanted to be different from others you have met, to create an impact, to be memorable, but I exploded. I'm mad, extremely mad, I felt like being manipulated.
I was already aware I'm no one special, but seeing it first hand, hearing it first hand, have me mad. You never deserved any of me. None.
These letters meant to you, kept in my favorite place should be abandoned. I am extremely dissapointed at myself... for staying after everything.
Probably because I care for you, I am worried that you might kill yourself, because I love you. You know that, but just like you who believed it was platonic I was trying so hard to believe it was too.
Making a fool of myself when I am completely aware I loved you more than a friend and I know it was wrong, thats why I keeps denying it.
I felt worst after seeing it myself, how dirty are you and how stupid of me to hope your not like that. I pity you. I love you,
But...
If their is something I have learned from my past failed relationships, it is that I'll always love my self more.
