Men feelings are never nurtured or payed attention to from young. They have to be strong and not cry, suck in everything they feel until they don't know what the feeling of feeling feels like. They grow into becoming one with that lesson in life, not being able to separate it because it's now embedded within, now being unrecognizable to him. When a women tries to get this precious vulnerable side of him, it's by nature of him now to not understand what it is she is trying to receive from him. Or it may feel invasive. Things get lost in translation. Now she's left without understanding, and confusion. She's always been able to express herself. She was never told not to cry, in fact she was held, given attention. He sees her as being emotional when in fact his emotions are buried so deep, he doesn't recognize the display of natural human emotion. His emotions have never been activated in this way. Men and women are conditioned to be emotionally unbalanced. Since I've come to this realization...the thought of being with someone forever just isn't a thing in my head anymore. I don't crave a man in the way I use to. I'm fully aware that there are men different than what has been described above, I just think those men are rare. I'm won't sell myself the fantasy of possibly finding a man that has been catered to emotionally from young. I realized I cannot be with someone who is stuted emotionally. It's inhibiting to my temple; my body within. All I crave now is peace and growth. I've discovered that the things I've always wanted from a man I can actually give myself. Of course it feels a little better when someone else can provide that for you. But the only person I know factually that can give myself that, is myself. I don't think nothing is impossible when it comes to modifications within the human body, but I am aware that you can be with a man for almost 10 years, and still not know who is on the Inside. Trying for that long to get an understanding of what someone is feeling, and failing miserably, eventually tranfers into drainage, with nothing left to pump out. While on the other side of the tracks, you yourself, are expressing the feelings you have within. Maybe you express it outloud, or show certain gestures in your body language. And once it's put out, you expect what you are saying to be recognized, understood, and resolved. Doing that for so long, becomes repetitive and again....draining. Who as an emotional person can mentally sustain behavior like this without crashing out eventually. It's Impossible. We as women can overheat just like a computer from back in the day when loading too many things on it. The day of burnout comes. We as women try and try to make shit last forever. We're build for this fairy-tale, Night and Shinning Armour mess. But the day we realize it's not us, it be no going back.
