KPOP Oneshots Vol. 2

Anniversary bouquets (Joshua)

I looked around the flower shop. Every year at the same day I stood here and bought a bouquet. It looked slightly different every year, but as always, I stuck to the same flowers. Only the number of flowers and the arrangement changed according to the passing years and the greeneries they had in stock. I watched the employee getting the flowers I had told him, one after the other.

Five rose gerbera daisies. It had been the first flower I got from him. He really made an effort, knowing I liked flowers and loved to hear about the meaning behind them. His friend told me later that he had occupied a poor employee for a whole hour asking about meanings of different flowers and then carefully chose the best looking between the ones in question. A day later he stood in front of my door, nervous as never before and stuttered out a confession. He had bought five rose gerbera daisies, one for every year we knew each other back then, stating that they symbolize innocence, cheerfulness and joy – the three things he loved so much about me. He almost dropped the bouquet when handing it over since his hands were shaking so much. I didn't care. I hugged him so enthusiastically that we both almost stumbled over our feet.

Three blue larkspurs. Over the next three years, he bought five rose gerbera daisies for every anniversary. But with every additional year, he added in one blue larkspur. It stands for laughter, sweetness and purity. "You make me laugh, sweetheart", he told me when I asked about it, "And you're the purest woman in this world. I came to admire that so much, I tend to boast about it in front of the guys. Plus, the colour blue symbolizes longing for someone, just like I long for you whenever you are not around." The year he gave me five rose gerbera daisies and three blue larkspurs was the year he proposed.

Seventeen white jasmines. My pride bouquet held rose gerberas, blue larkspur and a bunch of white jasmines. In a quiet moment while dancing together later in the evening, cuddled together closely, he suddenly asked me about the meaning of the newly added jasmine. "Jasmine stands for unconditional and eternal love", I whispered back, a bit sleepy already, "And white -as you know- for pureness. Just like our love that is unconditional, pure and – as I hope – eternal." "I am sure it is", he gave back and kissed my forehead gently. It had been one of the most precious moments in my life. And from then on, I got a bouquet with five rose gerbera daisies, three blue larkspurs and white jasmine for our every wedding anniversary. The latter flowers grew in number, one more for every year.

Four yellow calendula. And suddenly I didn't get bouquets anymore. It all went too fast for me to grasp. There were policemen in front of my door, asking if he would be my husband and then they said sorry and told me that there was an accident and suddenly I was alone. A widow. I lay down a bouquet at his grave that day. Five rose gerbera daisies, three blue larkspurs, seventeen white jasmines, one yellow calendula. Farewell. That's what they stand for. And every year I stand in front of his grave and lay down a bouquet like this. Every year there is one yellow calendula more. It doesn't look like those bouquets one can buy in the shops; it is rather peculiar. But it holds so much meaning and that's why I loved it from the start. That's why I still love it.

"It's four years now", I told no one in particular as I stood in front of his grave again, "And I still miss you so much, Shua." I wiped away a tear before taking a deep breath and going on: "Don't worry about me though. I am still happy. But you know... Sometimes I just wish I could share my laughter with you again. Or simply would be able to hear it. And... I could really need your hug every now and then..." I paused and fumbled with the bouquet in my hands. A slight breeze brushed over my skin and for a split second it felt like a pair of arms embraced me, but so soft and light that it couldn't have been a real human. I smiled softly and closed my eyes for a second. "Okay, okay, I get it", I sniffled, "I shouldn't get sucked up in those emotions."

I wiped away the tears again away. "The flowerbed is doing good by the way", I went on, "You know, the one with our anniversary flowers. Those larkspurs almost drowned out the calendula, but I keep 'em in check." I laid down the bouquet and took a last look at the stone. Joshua Hong. I pressed my lips together. "Wait for me in heaven, will you?", I whispered. And just like an answer, the sun suddenly shone brighter. I stood there for one more second and then turned around. "See you then", I added and left the graveyard.