International

Chapter 8

We hung out at either my apartment or his apartment most around filming days until he called me on Friday.
"Hey tomorrow I'm going to Brighton to have dinner with my sister and Alfie and Marcus and Naomi and Caspar, would you like to come?" He asked.
"I'd love to." I quickly checked the email with schedule on it. I had to be on set from 6am to 4pm which sounded exhausting but I didn't want to pass up a chance to meet Zoella, Pointlessblog, and Marcus Butler. They were some of my favorite youtubers in the UK. Joe isn't even actually my favorite British youtuber. I don't think I would ever tell him but I have had a fan girl crush on Dan Howell aka Danisnotonfire since i was 17.
"I get off at 4." I said through the phone.
"Great I'll meet you at your apartment and we'll walk to the train station." I heard a voice in the background.
"We will meet you!" I heard Caspar say in the distance.
"Right sorry, we will meet you at your apartment." I heard him laugh at Caspar.
"Sounds great, Bye."
"Bye" and I hung up.
Joe, Caspar, and I were now on the train to Brighton. It was about a two hour ride. I sat next to Joe and Caspar sat in the seat in front of us.
I had one headphone in and Joe had the other and we were listening to my spotify playlists. He picked just about everything but he liked my taste in music which was important to me.
We arrived almost two hours later to the train stop in Brighton. We grabbed a cab to Zoe and Alfie's. I made an executive decision to not tell them that I have seen everyone of their sims videos on Alfie's gaming channel.
Caspar knocked on the door and Joe and I stood behind him. We also decided not to really tell people about our situation. I was just going to be introduced as a friend.
Zoe opened the door wearing her signature half up half down hair-do.
"Hi Caspar!" she said as she gave a him a big hug. Caspar walked in the door and Joe walked up to hug his sister.
Joe let go of Zoe to introduce me.
"Zoe this is Rachel, Rachel this is Zoe." He said.
I was so nervous of whether or not she was going to like me. Not only was she Joe's sister but I had always looked up to her because of the best selling book she wrote and the YouTube empire and like me she always had to deal with anxiety.
She looked at me and smiled.
"Hi nice to meet you." She said as she walked over to me and gave me a quick hug.
"Nice to meet you too. I love your videos and your book by the way." I said kind of wishing I hadn't. Pretty much everyone I was going to meet tonight, I watched and loved their videos.
"Oh thank you so much, you are so kind!" She seemed so nice so I relaxed a little.
She led both of us inside where Marcus, Naoimi, and Alfie were. I met all of them and hopefully struck a right chord with the crowd.
We all sat down to dinner eating Lemon chicken and asparagus because Zoe was a great cook.
We had great conversations about the difference between the YouTube industry and the film industry and even the differences between England and America. It was just a good time and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Marcus, Alfie, and Joe decided to record some colab videos and of course almost everyone was vlogging.
I liked watching them film all their videos because it was just cool to have a behind the scenes look of what goes into a 5 minute video that you would never expect.
Zoe got up from the living room and walked toward her kitchen. She turned around and looked at me. She jerked her head slightly so I knew to come follow her. I didn't know what this was about but I was scared.
We walked into the office area where no one else in the group could see us or I suppose, hear us.
"Hey so I just was wondering what's going with you and my brother?" She asked me. My heart was racing. "You are leaving for America in two weeks aren't you?" This question I could answer.
"Yah I am. I don't know I guess I just think that long distance relationships are messy and someone always gets hurt and I don't want Joe to get hurt." It was what I had been telling myself this whole time. Long distance relationships suck. I really don't want to hurt him.
"Well I can see that Joe really fancies you. He never brings girls around to meet us." She said. It was still so weird to be talking face to face with Zoella.
I tried to swallow the lump I felt in my gut.
She saw me quiet and spoke up again "I know you're leaving and I know that Joe is going to get hurt either way whether you part with a relationship or not." And she was right. What was I even doing? I'm leaving in two weeks and I'm just expecting him to forget about me when I go?
I started to piece together what I was doing. I was turning into the people that ditched me in high school. I was letting Joe get attached to me and then I was just going to leave. I wanted to throw up.
"You're right." I said instead of throwing up.
"I'm not trying to be rude or anything because I really do like you. You are very funny and sweet. I just want you to be careful." She said sympathetically. I was really glad that she liked me.
"Thank you." I smiled.
We walked back into the living room. I looked at Joe and he smiled at me as I came in. It broke my heart. I didn't want to stay.
Joe spoke up "well you guys the last train back to London leaves in 20 minutes so we should get going." He said while standing up and walking over to me. I was hoping he couldn't sense how uneasy I was.
Naomi and Marcus stood up as well. Caspar packed up his camera filming camera.
A lot of them took out their vlogging cameras and waved goodbye to each other. I put on a facade for the camera and for everyone else to say that I was ok.
Caspar, Marcus, Naomi, Joe and I all left the flat saying goodbye and thank you to Zalfie.
We sat on the two hour ride home. Joe and I shared music again but this time I didn't say a word.
We finally arrived back in London at midnight.
We took a car back to my apartment for the month. Joe got out to walk me up to my door.
"So I think everyone really liked you." He said smiling. I knew he could tell something was up.
"Yea." I responded half heartedly.
"What's wrong?" He asked as he took my hand in his.
"Joe what are we doing? I am going back to America in two weeks. I don't want to hurt you. I can't do this to you." The tears were welling up in my eyes. One of them dropped and rolled down my cheek.
"Hey hey it's ok." He noticed the tear on my cheek and wiped it away with his thumb. He pulled me in for a hug.
"We are going to figure this out. I am a big boy I won't get hurt I promise." I didn't believe him.
"Joe I can't just leave you at the end of this month." More tears were running down now.
"We still have two more weeks together and I intend to spend every moment that I can with you. Rachel this is all going to work out I just know it." He held me for a little longer. I let go of him and looked into his eyes. He leaned down a little and kissed my forehead. Then my nose. And then my lips. The kiss deepened and I knew exactly what I wanted to do in this moment. We were still in the hall of my apartment complex so I quickly unlocked and opened the door.
"Juniper?" I called out to the apartment. No answer. I turned around and I saw Joe closing the door behind him as he entered. We connected again kissing with passion that I have never felt before right now.
I broke away and this time I was the one leading him.
We reached my bedroom and I pushed him down on the bed while straddling his waist. I kissed his neck and he pulled on my hips.
And finally for once in my life I slept with someone I was in love with.