Wasted Trees and Words Unspoken

you make me wanna

you make me wanna burn
every piece of clothing
that i hugged you in.
every single string your scent's embedded in,
i can't begin to explain
how much i hate the smell of you,
the memories of you
that stick with me like tape or glue
and make my aura turn deep sea blue.

you make me wanna cry
for every tear that fell down my cheek
as i waited for you to text back
"it's okay" for every single week
that you kept me waiting,
while you kept hating on the fact
that not every sibling wouldn't be baiting for the lewds and nudes
and oh-so-crude things
that i let keep fading...

you make me wanna tear apart
each piece of my hair
because i know how much you hated when i had it almost bare
and how you love it now
when you can trail your fingers
from my scalp, about here.
but guess what, fool.
i'm blind to everything that i saw about you that was cool.
i'm so much happier about not getting to see you in school.

because
you remind me of the love songs
that i'd play when you were around,
or when i missed you
in my mom's car while riding around town
with my headphones in, blasting lyrics that put me under your spell, casting curses upon me that would put me in a bind,
lasting...

until the day
you made me wanna delete my love songs,
and the day you made me wanna burn my clothes.
the day you made me wanna delete your pics,
and the day i hated you, from your head to your toes.
the day you made me wanna cut my hair,
and purify all of my skin.
the day i just wanted to be rid of you and let the "only" girl who loved you win.
the day i stopped caring
whether or not you were okay
and the day where the only kind word i'd said to you was a simple "hey".
the day when i'd cursed you out
and thrown away the key
and the day i made sure that
i'd never again let you so close to me...

so i say this to you now,
though i doubt it'll get to you
and if it does, i don't know how,
that i wish you and her the best
in all of that love, or i guess that friends-with-benefits success,
or maybe the fact
that you'll get to hide the rest
of all the secrets and the lies
that you hide behind the disguise
of a single name,
it being the next
on my list of 'goodbye's.