A Birdie Lost in Time | Bucky Barnes

|20|

They sat by the edge of the water, neither speaking as the sounds of the forest surrounded them.

Every so often a helicopter or jet would pass overhead somewhere, and the girl would look, expecting to be picked up by agents. Although now she was confused; she wasn't sure if she should want to be picked up.

She was torn between believing the Soldat who told her that Hydra was bad, and her mind that told her that she belonged with them. To them.

And her feelings that made her afraid of them didn't make it any clearer.

It was all so confusing.

So as she sat she'd done her best to focus on anything other than her inner storm, but unfortunately, her will alone wasn't enough to keep her mind clear. Memories assaulted her when her mind strayed, like when she'd sat down on the rocky shoreline only to be met with the images of people dressed in black and standing in front of a dock. She didn't know what it was, or when it had happened, but she didn't like that memory. It felt... bad.

When her mind wasn't being bombarded by unplaceable memories, it was darting back to her time in Siberia and the things that she realized might have been wrong.

Those thoughts were worse than the memories.

She felt uneasy—scared—and she wasn't sure how to stop it because it she was no longer there.

How do you stop fearing something that cannot hurt you?

So that was how she spent the hour; stewing in her mind, unsure of how she should be dealing with any of it.

"Ptichka, we should head inside."

"I like it out here," she said simply.

She did. She didn't feel so... trapped. Nature didn't remind her as much of the halls of Siberia, but she knew the encampment would.

"You're shivering, you need to get inside."

She knew that, distantly, but she didn't care. "I do not mind the cold."

"No, but your body does. Besides Doctor Green needs to check you out. She'll be on her way any minute."

Bite me, Barnes.

The thought came out of no where, and it physically froze her.

For a moment, she was afraid he could read her thoughts, that he would know what she had said in her mind. She wasn't entirely sure what the Barnes part was, but she was certain that if she'd said that in Siberia, she would have been placed in solitary. Or beaten.

"What's wrong?" the Soldat asked, leaning forward so he could see her face.

"I... nothing. I just thought of something."

"A bad something?" he asked quietly.

"I am not sure... It seems both bad and not bad," she explained, turning to look at him. "I do not understand it, but I think it would get me in trouble."

He looked at her confused before shrugging. "Bad and not bad, but it would get you in trouble? I'm definitely interested to know what that is."

"I cannot; I will get in trouble."

"I'm not going to get you in trouble."

She shifted. "You will not?"

"No. Promise."

"Promise..."

He opened his mouth, but she nodded before he could say anything.

"Alright... I thought bite me," she explained, and he let out a bark of laughter. "I do not know why I thought it, but I thought, bite me, Barnes."