If Not For Her

Chapter 36. "The moon"

"Are you alright?" Grace asked, handing her a napkin. Emmalyn kept her eyes on Annabeth as Nick and Annabeth sat down right across Emmalyn and Grace. Their eyes never left each other. Emmalyn turned to Grace. "Yes, Why did you ask?" The answer was obvious, Grace wasn't stupid. "You keep glancing back" Grace turned in her chair and took a look at Annabeth, "at her?" She asked, her brows furrowed together.

Emmalyn took a sip of her drink, "no, I didn't, I don't" she swiftly lied or tried to atleast. Grace kept her gaze steady, "do you know them?" she asked. "I go to school with them, yes," Emmalyn said, "but why are we talking about them, they are on a date and so are we let's talk about us," she said. "Is there a us? Emmalyn, will there ever be?," she asked. Emmalyn remained silent, but her silence spoke volumes. Grace let out a breath "Okay, I see. I need to go" "Gra" Emmalyn called after her. Grace was already up and was rushing towards the door.

Emmalyn kept a fifty dollar on the table and rushed after her. "Grace," she called as Grace finally stopped and turned towards her, "what is it, Emmalyn? I couldn't stop thinking about what happened that night, I...thought about you every day, and, you never even saw me, Why did you kiss me then at the party? Why did you do it? was I just a bloody desperation, nothing more than revenge on Dexter?" Her eyes were glossy.

Emmalyn kept hers glued to the ground, "I have not been honest with you, Grace. I have not been honest with anyone in a matter of fact. I wanted to tell you that I liked you,"

"Liked?" Grace asked. "Liked. You were the first girl I ever liked and when you were there and we kissed I felt happier. You lifted me up while I was low. You were not an act of revenge on Dexter, Grace. You were the first girl in my life, I have not given you what you deserve and if I say that I can love you, I would be lying not only to you but to both of us. You deserve a lot better than what I can give you at the present. I am so sorry Grace, I should have never done that, but I don't regret any moment I spent with you" Emmalyn said looking at Grace.

Grace nodded and came close to her, Grace's head ending at her nose, she stood up and kissed Emmalyn on the cheek. "You are a good person Emma, now hurry up and tell her how you feel"she said. "Tell who?" Emmalyn asked. Grace let out a small laugh, "the girl at the coffee shop, I know you like her" Grace said. "How?" Emmalyn asked. "Because you look at her like you look at the moon," she said. "And?" Emmalyn asked. Grace looked down, "You have always loved the moon" she stepped back. "Don't be an idiot with your love life, Emmalyn," she said walking away.

She remembered why she liked Grace, why anyone fell for her. Emmalyn could be with her but that would not be fair. "Bye Grace," she said. "Bye Emma," She glanced at the window pane, watching Annabeth laugh. She seemed happy, with him. Grace was right Annabeth was the moon to Emmalyn's sun. She turned on the car and drove home.

Evelyn was sitting on the couch when Emmalyn reached. Emmalyn sat next to her, "where were you?" Evelyn asked. "Nowhere," Emmalyn said. Evelyn kept her eyes on the TV in front of them. "I broke up with him," she said breaking the heavy silence. Her nose was red and she was also missing from the game and the party. "Why?" Emmalyn asked though she didn't want to know. "It did not feel right," Evelyn turned to her, "it did not feel like we should be together" Evelyn said. "Maybe it was because we were together before you," Emmalyn said before she could stop herself.

Evelyn nodded, "Maybe," she said. "or maybe because you are just guilty of what you did,  maybe that's why you don't want to be with him" Emmalyn tried to redeem herself. Evelyn stood up, "whatever it was I just wanted to tell you that we no longer are together, you two can be together if you want" she said. Emmalyn watched her go up to her room. She really did like Dexter, Emmalyn had never seen Evelyn cry for anyone, at least not a boy before. Did she really love Dexter?

She rested her head on the soft cushion and closed her eyes. Maybe all the women in her family were unlucky in love. She pulled out her notebook from her bag and started sketching, she had to try her best. Winning or losing was not up to her. The painting started to form and by the end of the hour, she had a rough idea about her painting and she knew she was going to be the best.