If Not For Her

Chapter 39. The moment of truth

Annabeth was confused but also slightly happy, and her happiness pushed her into the spiral of more confusion. It was her first kiss and that too with Emmalyn. She turned around on her bed and after nearly an hour of tossing and turning she got up and walked down the stairs towards their kitchen, the floor felt cold against her bare feet. Tomorrow was the last day before the Christmas break.

In the kitchen she found Alex eating the chocolate cake Jenna made, she remembered she hadn't spoken to Nicolas recently. They talked in class but after the date, he seemed a bit distant. She sat across him, noticing her Alex cut her a piece and pushed the plate towards her, "what is wrong with you?" he asked. "Nothing," Annabeth said, cutting her piece. "Fine stay in your misery," he said focusing back on his cake. "Your piece is bigger," she said, taking a bite of his piece.

He swatted her hand away and looked up, annoyed, "I felt gracious towards you," he said. "Big words" Annabeth scoffed. "Get some more then, there is a bit on the fridge I am not your servant," he said. She stood up, "and while you are at it, get some for me too" he shot her a smile and she closed the fridge. "Why are you here?" She asked. "Hungry"
"As always"
"Why are you here?"
"Couldn't sleep"
"Something bothering you?"
"Not exactly bothering"
"Someone?" He asked. She had to tell someone, "yes,"
He finally looked up with a bit of stuck chocolate on his nose. She didn't tell him. He ran a hand through his hair, his hair was a lot lighter than hers, borderline blond, he looked a lot their father while she got her mother's indian heritage.

"I am going to take a guess," he said. Annabeth nodded and without missing a beat he said, "Emmalyn?" She did not have to answer, her surprised face gave it all away. "You know Ollie, I kind of knew you would be in this mess sooner or later so tell me sister which stage are you in?" He asked.

"Which stage of what?" Annabeth asked. Alex looked at her like he stated the absolute obvious and she was too dumb to comprehend. "You do realize Emmalyn likes you right?" he said slowly, taking his sweet time with every word. "No, she does not. She likes me as a friend, the same way I like her" she said. "Do you...you like her as a friend. You do like her a friend who has feelings for the other person," he said. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers "you are a bigger idiot than I thought you would be"

"How can you say something like that? Is it obvious that, that I like her" she immediately put her hands over her mouth. "So you admit, you do like her?" He said. Annabeth placed her hands in front of her. "I kissed her today and have been feeling weird ever since" "wait, you kissed her?" He asked, his eyes wide. "Yes," she said. His face turned a bit serious. "Do you really like her?" He asked. "I think I do," she admitted to herself more than she admitted to him.

"Aww, my kid is all grown up," he said. "Shut up," she said as she threw the nearest napkin at him. He caught it with practiced agility. "But what about Nick?" He asked. "If you and Emmalyn like each other" she cut him off, "I am not sure she likes me". "Trust me on this one she does, she liked you before you liked her" he said. She trusted him and hoped he was right. "I don't know about Nick, he seems a bit distant" she said taking a bite, she savored the sweet taste. Chocolate to her always felt like a warm hug. Alex furrowed his brows, "with you, he liked you since we were kids"

She was shocked by that revelation, " He did? why couldn't you tell me this earlier Alex?" she asked, placing her fork down. Alex did not answer but instead, he said, "since when is he distant?". Annabeth narrated the whole date incident, "he has been distant ever since" she told him. He leaned back in his chair. "Maybe he realized," he said. "Realized what?" She asked. "That you were not into him and to save himself from the hurt he distanced himself. That is what Nick always did". Alex  said. Annabeth remembered how distracted she was during the whole time of their date. She had liked Emmalyn, even when she didn't know, but then again she felt horrible for Nick, he didn't deserve it.

"Maybe," she said. "Ollie, leave the situation as it is for tomorrow and do something about it after the holidays and now I am tired, so I will try to get some sleep. Go to sleep you will look more horrible with dark circles than you normally do,"

Annabeth didn't sleep that night, she couldn't. The next day she found herself more drawn to Emmalyn than she had ever been. No one knew about the kiss except them and her brother and she knew none of them were going to say anything anytime soon. The situation just needed time, a lot of it. The day went by with a quick smile from Nicolas and continuous classes. As usual, she sat in the art sandwiched between the two people she liked. Her eyes searched for them when she saw Nicolas talking to Vanessa. Chris shot her a pitiful look, she shrugged, she had to tell Chris and  Adam soon. She watched Vanessa touch his forearm, she felt nothing. She didn't feel anything for him. Nothing. Did she ever even liked him? Emmalyn soon joined their conversation.

She saw Emmalyn catch her looking at him while she talked to him. Then she felt the similar pang of jealousy she felt when they went roller skating, and the truth hit her like a truck. She was jealous but not because Emmalyn flirted a bit with Nick but because Nick flirted a bit with Emmalyn. She wanted her not him, maybe that was why she never had a boyfriend. She was never interested in relationships. She liked girls and one girl in particular