Dave And Cthulhu

Coffee :<

Dave POV

I'm done with everything, I have no job, my mom is dead, my girlfriend cheated on me and when I confronted her she didn't care and left, I've got nothing so fuck it!

I stood on the bridge...and then I blacked out

I saw great light and felt warm in it

Dave: Heaven?

???: Uh no no not close they wouldn't let me there

I looked over to see him a guy about 7 feet tall except he had wings...and scales....AND A SQUID FOR A HEAD

Dave: Ah! Who are you!

Cthulhu: Oh I'm Cthulhu, Nice to meet you

It held out it's hand and smiled with it's tentacles I think

Dave: Wait the god that is set to end all life on earth and take over the world?

Cthulhu: Yep that's me!

Dave: Are you gonna kill me?

Cthulhu: Maybe but I'd like some coffee first I just woke up

Dave: You know what coffee is?

Cthulhu: I know everything important to human civilization

Dave: Like coffee?

Cthulhu: Like coffee

Dave: Wait won't people go insane looking at you?

Cthulhu: Yep

Dave: So how do we stop that?

Cthulhu: Oh I'll just make people see a regular dude

Dave: Wait how am I not crazy

Cthulhu: Who said you weren't?

Dave: Good point

We began walking till we found a coffee shop

Cthulhu: Sweet! Coffee is great when you first wake up

Dave: Uh we can't go in there

Cthulhu: Why not?

Dave: My ex works there

Cthulhu: And?

Dave: She has a restraining order on me after I broke in to her house to get my Xbox back that she stole for her new boyfriend

Cthulhu: And?

Dave: And I can't be there

Cthulhu: Why?

Dave: Because it's illegal for me to be there when she's there

Cthulhu: And?

Dave: I could go to jail!

And Cthulhu laughed at me then grabbed my wrist and began pulling me

Cthulhu: You ain't going to jail your staying with me till I destroy humanity, so your human laws can kiss my ass

Dave: What are you gonna do kill the officers who come for me?

He turned around and looked me dead in the eyes

Cthulhu: As you humans say, Duh

He then drags me and man is he fucking strong

We sit at a table and no one is giving him weird looks so we must be fine

Waitress: What can I get you 2 today?

Cthulhu: Coffee

Waitress: What kind