Infamy

Panic

    Lola hadn't been able to sleep for long periods of time since the  unfortunate event, she never was the most restful sleeper, there was so much more magic in the air at nighttime. Something about the quiet used to soothe her, now she stayed awake for different reasons, because for all the magic the dark hid, it held evil as well. No one knew that more than she did.  She looked over at her Apple Watch on the charger, 3 a.m. might as well have a shower while it's most likely clear, she could tell she wasn't getting back to sleep anyway. She gathered her shower things headed out the door and down the hall. As she walked briskly down the corridor she thought she heard a small shuffle behind her however, when she turned to find the source of the noise nothing was there to meet her gaze. "Puzzling" she thought to herself.
      "Hello?" She called out her soft voice echoing off of the emptiness. "Yeah that's it she muttered to herself, just call out to the potential danger. I'm obviously not the one that deserved to live." She placed her hand on her forehead to further indicate the silliness she felt towards herself.
   Once in the shower room she prepared her toiletries and slid herself behind the curtain before she readied herself to undress and turn the shower on, still not super comfortable with the open shower concept. As she was turning on the water she very clearly heard a thump and a scuffle of one of the chairs that sits outside the showers to put hygiene products and dry clothes on. She froze, panic engulfing her just as the freezing water that had not quite heated up yet hit her breaking the spell that held her in place. She yelped and moved the curtain back grabbing her shampoo bottle at the same time holding it like a weapon over her head. Seriously she wondered how tf did she survive this long. Then she remembered, HE had never intended to hurt her. The shame mixed with the fear she felt prior propelling her forward, her loved ones would not be lost in vain. No one was there, suddenly remembering she was naked she grabbed her towel and covered the front of herself. As she did this a light pink paper fell to the floor at her feet. She quickly turned off the water, wrapped her towel around herself, grabbed her things and rushed back to her dorm room, maybe there was something to be desired after all about group showering, safety being in numbers and whatnot.
    As soon as she got back to her room she took a few deep breaths as she sat down meditation style on the floor. She still felt the waves of panic washing over her threatening to overtake her. When the tingling in her hands and feet started she knew it was too late, naming 5 things she could see was not going to help her here. She rushed to her bag of medication to find the hydroxyzine, struggling with the lid she finally accessed the green capsules that would be her saving grace. She popped one in her mouth before she even has the bottle of water out of the fridge to wash it down. The cold water felt refreshing as it washed the capsule stuck to the roof of her mouth down her throat. She stared down the paper sitting on the floor with her other things as she waited for it to kick in. It might as well be a rattlesnake. That simple paper elicited so much fear as she stared it down. Calming slightly she took a slow step towards it inching her way across the small room. By the time she reached it her breathing had returned to normal and she was free of the threat of a panic attack. As she opened the folded paper she noticed first the delicate handwriting, confused she tried to focus in on what the words said, anxiety had everything all in a blur. Fight or flight mode just  would not relent. Finally as the medicine kicked in even though she felt a bit drowsy everything came clear. She could barely remember what the fuss was about. Suddenly as she read the words it hit her, once again someone was after her. Hands shaking she rushed to find her phone, instinct telling her to call Mila, or Conor. Both options obviously not available she called Mason one of the few people she knew in the area, who was also big enough to protect her. As she dialed the number she remembered what happened the last time she called someone to save her. They suffered tremendously for their heroism as she was about to hang up he answered, "hello gorgeous" his bright cheerful voice came over the speaker, " what's up?"
"Nothing much, just checking on you." She tried to sound normal as she rethought her strategy.
" oh really? How sweet of you." He replied
"I try." She casually replied mentally taking note of how easy it was for her to sound jovial when she thought someone's life was on the line, she really was surprising herself.
  "So, you're just checking on me at 3:45 in the morning?" He asked she could tell he was trying to sound casual but she could hear a twinge of excitement in his voice.
" oh shit." she thought, remembering the time.
"What can i say? You crossed my mind and I thought I would see if you were up, and might be down for a nice conversation." She hinted hopefully.
"Always, anything for you doll face."
She smiled forgetting her troubles for the moment.
"Want to go to breakfast?" He quickly replied slightly hoping she would forget his earlier comment. He was sleepy and being too honest, he was usually much more in control in relationships and his openness scared him a little.
Deciding the threat was most likely over she replied "I would love to, give me about 20 min to get ready."
"Great, see you then" was his only reply.

She looked over the contents of the letter one last time before getting dressed and heading out to meet her friend.

My dearest Lola-
  When I saw you here my heart skipped several beats, what luck!! The Gods truly smiled on me this day. Gracing me with sunshine in the dreariness that had become my existence.  Unbelievable that you would come here, to leave the safety of your home in this uncertain time.
    You are braver than I ever imagined overcoming everything you've lost, all you've suffered. The strength it took to pull yourself up and seek the life you deserve is truly to be admired. You inspire me just by existing. Your beauty and kindness are infinite. I look forward to seeing where this next chapter takes you. I'll be watching closely with weighted breath.
    I fear you won't accept me to be a part of your life at this time no matter how much I desire it, so in the shadows I will stay, lying in wait for my opportunity to see you up close again to touch you.
         I love you with an intensity that refuses to be ignored,
                        always and forever,
                                  Yours.