❝and i'll be in denial
for at least a little while.❞
MAY 26,
twenty-six days after the funeral.
WHEN
he woke up, jude was very concerned to see the state that nisha was in. helping herself to a bowl of cereal in the kitchen, he watched her weary, tired movements as if a weight had been placed on her shoulders during the night. her puffy eyes — from crying at night — and her dark circles did not diminish the young boy's concern as he swallowed his breakfast with great difficulty, a knot lodged in his lower stomach.
she didn't notice her best friend's gaze on her as she took the milk out of the fridge, blinking rapidly to try and shake the tiredness away — to no avail. in fact, she was doing everything to avoid contact with her friends who were eating either on the couch or in the dining room, for fear of being asked questions — nisha knew that she looked sad.
obviously, jude didn't agree. he never really did when it meant not caring about his best friend. so, he got up from the couch where arun was sitting next to him, watching cars, to join her in the kitchen. noticing his presence, the girl looked up from her bowl where she had already dipped her spoon, without much desire, to look at jude's questioning face. she already knew he was going to ask her the question, the one she had been dreading.
"are you okay?" bingo, she thought loudly.
jude had put his cup on the worktop and leaned against it, now facing his friend. without a sound, she had done the same with her bowl before letting her back rest against the edge of the sink, right in front of him. but she still didn't really look him in the eye, feeling a little ashamed of the memories of that night and the way she had woken him up.
if she knew how much this was the least of jude's problems, perhaps she could have told him the truth, but for now, that was not in her plans.
"i'm fine. you?"
it was an obvious lie to the footballer who slowly felt his shoulders slump under her half-hearted answer. he just nodded while thinking about a million things at the same time. then, slowly, he took a few steps towards her before standing next to her, in the same position as the girl. although their shoulders were almost touching, she still didn't dare to give him a frank look so jude went without.
"does it happen regularly?" he asked simply, hoping for a similar answer.
for a moment tempted to lie, to play innocent, nisha kept her lips pursed, just before realizing that it would get her nowhere.
"it happens," she shrugged and jude thought for a split second that those two little words would be her only answer, before she began again more feverishly, "sometimes it's nightmares, sometimes it's just me and my memories and i can't help but... cry," the last word was a whisper but jude heard it all the same.
glad she opened up to him a little, a smile came to the footballer's lips before he offered his proposal, "you shouldn't sleep alone-" he didn't have time to finish his sentence as nisha cut him off.
"my mother has other things to think about with all the inheritance and death certificate paperwork, y'know. and arun is a little boy, so it's not his place to take care of me. it's more like the other way around," she blurted out rather quickly, her gaze still fixed on an invisible point in front of her.
