❝i've nothing without you
all my dreams and all the
lights mean nothing
without you.❞
JUN 2,
one month and three
days after the funeral.
DAYS
had passed, irrevocably, and nisha had spent them at jude's side, as always. as if it were possible, they had grown even closer during the week through their long, late-night bedtime conversations, which they whispered in fear of waking arun. without realizing it, they had not only grown closer emotionally but also physically. the attraction of their two bodies had been unequivocal, certainly unambiguous, but purely out of a need for this contact to get better. nisha would probably never tell the boy, but his embrace reminded her of her father and his large frame, who knew how to reassure her whenever things seemed to be going wrong.
from two simple bodies lying next to each other, their arms had grown closer, their shoulders touched, and they had found themselves in each other's arms every night for reassurance and hope to fall asleep as soon as possible. it might have been a strange thing for them to be so intimate, them who didn't even dare to say that they loved each other, and yet, it was so natural that they decided not to even talk about it.
tonight, midnight was here, and on the pavement, nisha, her mother, jude, and arun were returning from a dinner at the footballer's parents' house. the few streetlights still lit up the ten-minute walk to the toone's house — advantage of living so close to the others. silence dominated the four individuals, the atmosphere too peaceful for any of them to want to break it — except for some tired yawns they couldn't refrain.
rebecca wrapped her arm around jude's waist and gave him a tender motherly smile, one that silently said 'thank you'. thank you for walking them home that night, thank you for comforting nisha and making her forget her pain just for a moment, thank you for making it easier with her daughter, thank you for taking care of arun as if he were his little brother, thank you for being there, thank you for being him. so, jude said, 'you're welcome' by returning her smile as he enveloped her shoulders by his arm.
arun decided to complain as he pulled on the boy's trousers, his eyes filled with sleep, "i want a hug too."
soft laughter escaped everyone's mouths, even nisha's a little further back on the pavement, self-effacing as she usually was for the past month. of course, the boy agreed, and arun's skyward arms soon found themselves wrapped around his neck.
without a word, arun's older sister watched the child's tranquil features carefully as he held his teddy close and she couldn't help but smile; how much he looked like their mother. although she loved the features her father had passed on to her, nisha couldn't help but regret her mother's sublime indian features. her silky smooth hair was a sight to behold, and although she cherished her afro, it took up a lot of her time and space.
not wanting to leave her alone, rebecca wrapped both arms around her daughter and placed a kiss on her temple. letting herself be, nisha finished the journey in her mother's arms while arun gradually fell asleep in jude ones. only one person was missing, the one who was thought of a lot on the pavement and the void he left despite himself, michael. yet, no one spoke about it out loud.
"is he asleep?" the footballer whispered, trying to guess if the little boy's eyelids had closed, but to no avail, as the latter had his head buried in his neck. fortunately, nisha was there to confirm this with the steady breath her brother was exhaling.
