Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
THURSDAY, MAY 1, 1969
On Death and Dying, a book recently published by a psychiatrist named Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. Alexandria had come across the book in the library a few days after her miscarriage and found that it outlined five supposed stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Generally not the one to find psychiatry books terribly interesting, Alexandria had actually found a bit of comfort in the book. She could feel herself going through these stages as she grieved the loss of her second baby, and after a long few weeks, she was feeling surprisingly at peace with the whole ordeal. She blamed that, in part, on Kübler-Ross's book.
She still had awful flashbacks to that day. She still thought about how it felt to sit on that toilet with that tiny, tiny baby in her hands below her. At only eleven weeks, the Harrisons' second baby already resembled a baby.
After the chaos subsided and they had a moment to themselves, the doctor brought in whatever was salvaged. It was in a small, plastic cup with a lid, the same ones that they took urine samples in. You could see the baby's head, the little triangle that was a nose, and its arms were tucked against its chest along with its legs. It was jarring, and it really only made Alexandria feel worse. She cried over it for a long time, right up to the moment that the doctor told her her time with her baby was up.
During the little bit of time they had with their child, Alexandria and George named it Riley, and since then, they'd gotten two little rocks to put in their garden as a small memorial for themselves.
Even though she was feeling at peace with what had happened to her, though, she was still a tad broken on the inside. She felt empty now that her pregnancy had ended so abruptly. Even almost a month later, she was still a little on the heavier side. Her breasts were still enlarged, and her stomach still had a little bulge in it. She figured that was just bloating by now, though.
Her pregnancy symptoms were gone. She was no longer ill, she didn't ache as much as she had, whatever foods she had had aversions to she could now eat. It was as if it never even happened.
But it had.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.
It was raining, and much to Alexandria's dismay, her menstrual cycles had already made another appearance. Her stomach was cramping, and every time she saw the blood, she thought she may very well lose it. It made her dizzy to look out. Sometimes, it felt like she'd bloody pass out whenever she saw it. She was irritated with it already. Doctors told her that it would take weeks for her cycles to start up again, weeks more than reality dictated. Nothing could ever be normal with her. Nothing.
