Christmas Alone With You (AU!Dean Winchester x Reader)

Krampus

"Krampus?" You asked, giving Dean a dubious look as he pressed play.

"It's basically the anti-Claus, at least that's what the trailer looks like." He shrugged, you pulled your feet up on the couch and leaned over onto the arm of it, away from him.

You had never heard of the movie before but he was set on watching it with you, so you stayed. Though, you wanted nothing more than to make an excuse and go back to hiding in your room and he kept glancing at you as if you were about to, but that wouldn't fix anything.

Dean noticed the way you were pulling away from him. You barely looked at him during the first half of the movie now that Mary was upstairs asleep and you were scrunched up on your side of the couch with your eyes trained on the TV screen. He made one of his typical bad jokes and you gave him a polite smile, no substance behind it.

Dean sighed and paused the movie when he couldn't take it anymore. A moment passed and you turned to look at him, Dean's jaw was clenched and his chin quivered. His soft green eyes locked onto yours and he sucked in a breath before clearing his throat.

"Did I ruin this... us?" He swallowed the lump in his throat, picking at his thumb nail absentmindedly.

"There is no us," you said honestly, shaking your head. You were tired and didn't have the energy to sugarcoat things. "I'm not family. We're not friends. I'm the roommate and-"

"Y/N-" Dean sighed, biting his cheek until he tasted copper. "I didn't mean a word of what I said, not a damn word."

"I think you meant more of it than you think and that's fine, just don't expect me to pretend like it never happened." You stared at him, Dean sniffling back a tear and nodding. "I'll be civil for Mary's sake, but I'm out of here by tomorrow evening, latest."

"I'm sorry." Was all Dean could say, his voice wavering.

"I know. Me too." Here's to another Christmas alone, you thought, sarcastically clinking glasses with yourself in your imagination.

You tugged your blanket tighter around yourself, turning away from Dean again and watching the paused TV screen like it was the most interesting thing in the room. There was no way Dean could fix this, you were completely blocking him out and he didn't understand why you were so hesitant to forgive him. Not that he didn't deserve it for everything he said.

"I don't know anything about you," Dean shrugged matter-of-factly.

"Excuse me?" You glared hard at him.

"I mean... I know who you are, but you never talk about your past, your family, friends. Where'd you grow up? What did you study in college? Did you even go to college? What's your favourite colour, food, band? Hell, I never even asked why you were squatting in the mall." Dean ranted, you stared at him unsure of where all of this was coming from, why he was suddenly interested in every little thing about you.

"I thought we were watching the movie." You said dryly.

"We were," he shrugged causally, "we will, after you tell me one real thing about yourself, then I'll drop it and we can watch the end of the movie."

You stared at each other for a long while, Dean was hellbent on getting you to open up even just a little. At this point, he'd already lost you so what was he worried about if he pushed you a bit to talk to him. You were exhausted, anything you said wouldn't change the way you thought he felt about you, so what was the point?

"I wasn't really watching anyway, I'm gonna go to bed." You shifted on the couch to stand up.

"Sure, runaway just like you always do." He stated coldly, his eyes harder and more guarded than before.