My Journal

-pov you love your best friend-

STORY 3 - PART ONE

Frankly, I don't know why I chose to love him. It was impossible, an irrevocable boundary, a fleeting emotion bound to go nowhere. But even a fleeting emotion is still a remnant of it once existing. I remember the chilly autumn afternoon when I realized how vibrant your eyes were against the gentle colors of fall. It had struck me so suddenly, you had to snap me from my thoughts. After that day I could never see you the same; I began to notice the small things. Your charismatic smile, your playful laugh, and the occasional shift of gaze in your eyes. I was falling hard and without much reason.

But love is never that easy. There was still this unwritten rule, this boundary. Best friends meant to be with each other, if only he'd consider my feelings, or even acknowledge them. Of course he doesn't know, how could I even begin? And as I sit on my floor and stare into the reflection of my stand-up mirror, I sigh at my predicament. A faint noise sounds from my nightstand, shaking me from my hopeless thoughts. I reach for my phone, noticing a dozen missed calls from my clueless best friend. My heart flutters at the sight of his name, and I lazily hit the redial button.

A few rings later, he picks up, "Hey, M&M." I smile to myself at the nickname he gave me when we were young kids, before all this, before when he was just my best friend, not a frustrating complication.

"Five times?" I tease.

"It's not my fault you wouldn't pick up."

"It's not my fault you're desperate." I retort, and he chuckles as I smile over his wonderful laugh.

"You are so complicated." No, you.

"Me? Never."

He doesn't have to tell me he's rolling his eyes for me to know, I can feel it in the air of the conversation. "You're funny, M', anyways the gang is coming over later."

"Oh yeah, everyone?"

"Minus Claire, she's still mad at me."

"She'll get over how you broke her heart, I'm sure." I say, rolling my eyes.

"M', you know it's not like that-"

"I know, I know. Just sayin'."

After a short pause, I realized I stepped too far. "So are you coming?"

"Yeah, I guess I'll tag along. . ." I say longingly in a playful manner.

"I swear, you are going to be the death of me." He says, faking frustration.

"Geesh, love you too. . ."

"Yeah, yeah, you know I love you M&M," If only he knew that I wished it was more than a friendly bond. "And by the way, don't forget to bring snacks."

"Got you covered."

"Cool, cool, well I'll see ya later."

"See you." I say, before he is gone.