Nagising ako sa isang parang paraisong lugar. Kinusot ko ang ang mga mata ko at tinignan kung nasaan ako. Kumunot naman ang noo ko sa nakikita ko. Grass. Trees. Flowers. Butterflies. Huh? Nasaan ba ako? Sa pagkakaalam ko, nasa kalsada ako nung huling kita ko. Nasaan na ba talaga ako?
"Delilah!" Napatingin naman ako sa tumawag sa akin at nanlaki ang mata ko. Huh? Teka! Totoo ba 'tong nakikita ko? He smiled at me. Yung ngiting iyon na laging nagpapasaya sa akin kapag malungkot ako. Naramdaman ko na naman ang panggigilid ng luha ko. Agad akong tumakbo sa kinaroroonan niya.
"Papa!" Sigaw ko at niyakap siya nang makarating na ako doon. Naramdaman ko na niyakap niya rin ako pabalik. "Papa naman! Miss na miss na kita." I said between my sobs.
"Hush! My princess, wag ka na umiyak. Nandito na si papa." Hinaplos-haplos niya ang buhok ko habang pinapatahan ako. Lalo ko namang hinigpitan ang yakap ko.
"Papa naman! Sana sinama mo ako noong araq na maaksidente ka. Sana nandoon ako para sabay na tayo. Sana nandoon ako para hindi na ako nagsisisi at nagagalit sa Kanya ngayon. Sana sinama mo ako para hindi na ako nahihirapan ngayon. Sana, papa, hindi mo na lang ako iniwan." Kumalas siya at lumuhod para pantayan ako. Ngumiti siya sa akin. Oh, how I missed Daddy and his smile. Siya lang ang nakakapagpagaan ng damdamin ko.
"Delilah, anak, huwag kang mag-isip ng ganyan." He started and wiped my tears away using his thumb. "Anak, mas mabuti nga noong naaksidente ako ay hindi ka kasama. At tsaka anak, marami pang naghihintay sa'yong oportunidad. Kaya siguro ako nauna dahil oras ko na kaya kinuha na Niya ako. At anak, huwag mo Siyang sisihin sa lahat ng nangyayari ngayon sa'yo. Alam mo anak, dapat matuwa ka dahil binigyan ka Niya ng pamilyang mag-aaruga sa'yo, yung kayang bilhind kung ano ang gusto mo. Don't blame Him. Pagsubok lang 'to na kayang-kaya mong lagpasan. And if you have a problem, talk to Him. He is our friend, too.
"You know, Delilah, there will always be someone willing you, put you down, gossip about you, belittle your accomplishmenys and judge your soul. It is a fact that we all must face. However, anak, if you realize that God is a bestfriend that stands beside you when others cast stones you will never be afraid, never feel worthless and never feel alone." Medyo nahimasmasan naman ako sa sinabi niya. I wiped my tears and composed myself. Why didn't I think of that? Siguro dahil puro sarili ko lang ang iniisip ko. I sighed. Daddy is right. Sa panahon na nag-iisa ka, He is always beside us. Sa sitwasyon ko, nandoon Siya lagi pero what did I do? Wala. I lost faith and blame Him on everything! Pero through my Daddy's words, I think I should be the one to be blamed. Not Him.
Maya-maya naramdaman ko ang paggalaw ng kinatatayuan ko. What's happening? Niyakap ko si Daddy. "Papa, a-anong nangyayari? Don't leave me. . .again. Please." Pagmamakaawa ko at nagsisimula na naman tumulo ang luha ko.
"Anak, I can't. It's not yet your time. Don't worry, nandito ako sa'yo, binabantayan ka at iga-guide ka. Just always remember, I love you, anak." He lifted my chin and kissed my forehead."Oh, one more thing before you go. Have faith. Love Him. Talk to Him. Thank Him. Serve Him." Tumango naman ako sa sinabi niya.
And before I react, everything faded.
**
"When I woke up that day, the first thing I saw is my family and Freda. Nakaabang sila sa akin lalo na si mama. I apologized to them. And they forgave me naman. And I told them to bring me in the hospital chapel and thankfully, they granted it. I talked to Him. Humingi ako ng tawad for being so selfish and for being a very bad daughter. I served Him at hanggang ngayon, I am still serving Him. Masaya ako na nakapag-usap kami ni Daddy nung time na yun. Dahil sa kanya, naliwanagan ako sa mga bagay-bagay." Remembering what happened to me few years ago made me smile. If I didn't get a chance to talk with my Daddy, hindi mangyayari ang mga ito ngayon. May choice naman ako. But I was so close-minded kaya all I did was to blame Him.
Gracie wiped her tears na nakawala. "Mommy, I am crying!" She said and sniffed. Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya.
"I know, Gracie. I know." I said and looked at my watch to find out it's 1:45 in the afternoon. "Oh, punta ka na sa loob. It's already time for you to sleep." Tumango naman siya at pinunasan ko muna ang mukha niya. She hugged me before going on her room.
I heaved a sigh and looked at my diary. This bring a lot of memories. Lahat ng rants ko noon, nandito nakalagay. Nakakatawang isipin na ang mabait na Delilah noon ay naging masama tapos naging mabait ngayon. I mentally laughed on that thought. I closed my diary and stared on its cover.
"There will always be someone willing to hurt you, put you down, gossip about you, belittle your accomplishments and judge your soul. It's a fact that we all must face. However, if you realize that God is a bestfriend that stands beside you when others cast stones you will never be afraid, never feel worthless and never be alone."
Ito yung sinabi ni Daddy na nagpa-motivate sa akin na gawin ang tama. Ito yung nagpapagaan ng damdamin ko. At ito yung naging daan para humingi ako ng tawad sa lahat ng nagawa kong kasalanan.
Tumingala ako at pinagmasdan ang langit. Lord God, thank You. I mentally said and closed my eyes to feel the ambiance of this place, and to feel His presence. I know He's in here with me. Naputol iyon nang may tumawag sa akin.
"Jessel!" Napatingin ako Edisa, she's smiling to me so I did the same. "May naghahanap sa'yo." Sabi nito. Napakunot naman ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. Sino naman ang maghahanap sa akin eh nasa States sila mama ngayon? And as if on cue, he showed up. My jaw dropped when I saw him.
"Percy?" I whispered.
BINABASA MO ANG
A Daughter's Cry
Spiritual"There will always be someone willing to hurt you, put you down, gossip about you, belittle your accomplishments and judge your soul. It is a fact that we all must face. However, if you realize that God is a bestfriend that stands beside you when ot...
