VOLKO

Chapter Thirteen

Non-stop buzzing woke me from a fitful sleep. Rolling over with effort I didn't have, I blinked to Gemma's face on my scene. Smiling from the memory of when I took the photo, I answered it against my better judgement.

"So tell me everything, do I need to come down there and show this Victoria bitch who the real boss is?" Gemma was a morning person, me, not so much.

I'd text her last night after fighting to get to sleep, I should have known the moment she'd wake up she'd want all the details. Gemma was a very in the moment kind of person. Most people thought her to be demanding, however I knew she didn't like to sit on things. Hence the seven o'clock call.

The events from last night flowed out of me, I told her everything starting from the night out with Jake and ending with the weird dance with Dimitri. The whole time Gemma remained mostly quiet, only chipping in with a gasp every now and then.

"He sounds like an asshole." I couldn't help but agree.

How had it all gone so wrong? Worse still I hated myself for not being able to stop thinking about the kiss. All night my brain replayed two moments, torturing me in an unless loop.. The kiss with me, and the kiss with Victoria.

"He was perfect all day. Caring even, and then as if he was afraid, he does that." I yawned, trying to make sense. Surely it hadn't been me making things up the whole time. Dean must have felt what I did. Was I a bad kisser?

"Megan, you sound like a typical basic bitch. Stop trying to dissect his actions. He did a nice thing and then hurt you by kissing the person you dislike the most. He's an asshole." Gemma's blunt and unbending manner forced me to face a reality I didn't want to. Dean just wasn't that into me. He'd kissed me purely for my father's benefit, that part stun the most.

What I couldn't finger was why I cared so much? I barely knew the guy, fuck him.

"He kissed my mum?" I joked, hoping to deflect some of the pain from the rejection away.

"Don't let boys treat you like this or excuse their behaviour." The forever strong minded Gemma, how life would be simpler if I had her self-esteem. "Now talking about Helen." I groaned, knowing exactly what direction this conversation was going.

"I'm not going to see her." I protested.

"You're so stubborn!"

"Coming from the world's most stubborn person." I couldn't help but laugh. For once, Gemma was finally getting a taste of her own medicine and she wasn't happy about it.

"I know you don't want to, and I know all the reasons why you don't want to. And I agree with them. I just don't want you to regret it. Just think, if she's still a bitch then your opinion on her doesn't change. You lose nothing. Or she could actually repent what she's done, and for a short while you could have what you've always wanted Meg." Gemma argued.

Listening to her made me feel like a school kid being told off. Everything she said came from a good place, the only difference was, Gemma had never experienced not being loved by a parent.

Sure, she understood the feelings involved, she'd just never felt them. That feeling of no belonging, of being lost.

How do you describe to someone who's parents always turned up to support you at any event, how lonely it was to look across a field and them not being there amongst all the other parents? Or better yet, they're there, they just don't cheer for you. Instead they criticise your profession and point out all the desired qualities in others you never had.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't Gemma's fault I had a shitty upbringing. She wasn't to blame, it just made talking to her about it hard. Like describing hungry to a rich kid, they understand the concept but not the raw desperate to survive.