the kids are depressed

•NNEOMA

"Nneoma woke up happy..."

If Nneoma was a song, I think she'd be, Happy by Pharrell Williams or Shake it off by Taylor Swift. The girl was just too happy—at least, to everyone that is.

Nneoma woke up as early as 5:30 because she just couldn't sleep due to the excitement about the day's activity.

"This is the kind of ginger I've been talking about!" She excitedly jumped and playfully bumped anyone in her path when the lecturer had announced months ago that they were going for the "exposure exercise". She didn't get why some of the students frowned and pretended like they didn't need the activity in their lives. "Look, this is our last year in secondary school—some of us will be long gone after we graduate, if we can have fun for the last time, why shouldn't we?" She convinced her lot of people with her optimism that day and the sign up list was massive because of her—except she hadn't even signed up herself. The only person she had was her struggling mother and her struggling elder siblings; excursion was her luxury she knew they couldn't afford, but Nneoma knew she just had to find a way.

She was walking back home on the day of the announcement while humming and dancing to a Zeenoleesky song when she froze at the sight of her mother adjusting her wrapper while begging a man she recognized as the house agent. Her countenance fell. She looked around to make sure that no one from her school was around to watch the embarrassing scene. Her heart broke as she saw her mum go from trying to kneel down to finally kneeling down and as she felt rage takeover her, she saw the most disturbing thing happen in that moment.

Her mother held on the man's trouser and he had a look on his face that showed that he enjoyed the pathetic show her mother was putting up and that he really had no intention of leaving—at least, this was what Nneoma thought before she saw her mother nod with her head bowed. She wondered what the man was saying when she suddenly watched him run his tongue through his lower lip as he sized her mother down. He made a circle with his hands and Nneoma watched in shock as her mother turned around—still on her knees. The house agent pushed his eyes wide open and ran his fingers down from his cheek to his chin as he admired her beautiful mother, and before she knew it, they were both back inside the house. Neeoma stood there shaking in unimaginable fear. She had no idea how to react, or what to say—she just stood there, grasping her school bag as if it was oxygen. People walking past her tried to greet her and question why she looked like she'd just been one on one with a ghost, but she just stood there, frozen. It was all she could do. She smiled and danced that same evening, again, it was all she could do.

She was listening and dancing to a Burna boy song when the door to the room she shared with her younger siblings pushed open and her mother's head appeared with a bright smile on her face.

"I'm boiling water for you—shebi you're going to school this morning?" She asked, but all Nneoma could see in that moment was the wrapper around her mother's chest. It was the same wrapper she had on her chest on the day..

"Nneoma!" Her mother's voice jolted her back to life.

"Ma?"

"I'm asking if you're going to need hot water?"

"Yes, mummy," she threw her mother her brightest smile.

"Wetin you come dey think before?" Her mother folded her mouth in a smile only African mothers knew how to pull off.

"I was wondering how you got the money for the excursion," Nneoma smiled. She had asked the question already—35 times in fact, and her mother kept telling her the same thing,

"It's from the fufu I sold. How many times will I tell you? Let me go and boil your water," he mother said and left the room, guilt written all over her face.

Nneoma stopped listening to Burna boy and found herself sitting in front of her worn out traveling bag which contained all her outing clothes. She didn't know what to make of her mother anymore—she didn't know what to make of her own self. A part of her kept trying to convince her that mum only did what she did to put a roof over their heads, but she couldn't shake the part that made her question how long her mum had been paying men in kind to sustain their family. It was a good and bad feeling. Should she hate her mother for trying to give them a better life?, or should she love her mother for sacrificing her body to worthless men? She just shook her head and let out a sigh of release as she remembered why she was on the floor again. She glanced at her phone and started playing Burna Boy's Last Last again as she picked out her outfit for the day.

Her mum had just informed her that the water was hot when she saw the notification on her phone screen. It was a message from Temi and it read, HEY MAMA WITH THE HAPPY VIBEZZ I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN PICKED UP? PLEASE COME WITH YOUR SPEAKER AND OF COURSE, YOUR HAPPY VIBEZ! Byeee.

She stared at the message for what seemed like an hour before taking a deep breath. She walked to the kitchen and thanked her mother for the water before taking the bucket of hot water to the bathroom. The bathroom was the only place she was allowed to be vulnerable. It was the only place she could cry without making anyone feel bad, and she did a lot of that, that morning, the surprising thing was that she came out laughing and playing with everyone right after.

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