Wanting her

Chapter 3

Present.

Pain. Everything hurts. My brain feels fuzzy as the excruciating pain becomes evident all over my body, especially on my wrist. The one which I had sliced through in an attempt to kill myself. I blinked slowly as my eyes started filling up with tears and blurring everything around me.

How could he have saved me in less than 3 minutes when I planned everything out? The room is soundproof, I made sure to lock the door, I made sure he wasn't home and most importantly I had cut the right artery and drowned myself. Why can't he just let me be free, why must he torture me so much? The faint sound of the vital monitor caught my attention, proving once again that I was alive.

I was never such a weak person but these days all I do is cry and beg for mercy. I'm tired of crying and I'm tired of feeling helpless. Giovannie is going to fuck me up. My body started shaking in fear as I sobbed harder, thinking about his cold blue eyes staring into my soul as he torment me beyond repair. I know he's not going to take this lightly, not only have I tried to kill myself but I've offended and threatened him. I'm not allowed to hurt myself or worse threaten him with my life.

Why didn't I just die and take this fucking pain away! I wiped the tears from my eyes and look ahead of me. My heart dropped when Giovannie came into view, there he was, standing right in front of the bed wearing one of his signature black Armani suits with a stern look on his face with his arms crossed around his chest making him look more intimidated as he watch me.

A slight yet not too visible smirk played on his lips as he stared into my terrified eyes. "I gotta say, I didn't think you had it in you, love," he uttered calmly with a look of amusement dancing in his hooded orbs. "I'm kinda disappointed in you, my love. I thought you knew everything about me? did you not study me as you said?" he said mockingly. "Shame on you. A king never takes his eyes off his queen." I hate that title, I hate that he calls me his queen because he treats me as no such thing. A true king would never hurt his queen like Giovannie has hurt me. Every day I wake up in constant fear and pain.

The tears leaked out of my eyes as I stared down at my bandaged hand. "If you value those beautiful sparkling orbs, I would advise you to keep them on me," he said ever so calmly, for if I did not know him, I wouldn't think much of it. I snapped my eyes back on him and trembled. As much as I wouldn't mind the idea of dying, I know I don't want him to give it to me because he will not give me the quick death that I desire. Instead, he will provide me with a slow, tortuous one until I can't move a fucking muscle, and even then, I don't think he would ever kill me; because Giovannie promised me that he wouldn't, and he never goes against his words.

"Now, my queen, what made you think you would get away with this?" and just like that, his whole demeanor got dark. My senses were on high alert and I felt my body temperature dropping low. Tears welled up in my eyes and cascaded down my face as I begged him silently with my eyes. "Crying is not an answer." He said adjusting the tie around his neck, something he always does when he's getting irritated and running out of patience. "Please Gio I don't know. My head isn't straight" I begged him, It is the truth, I was not being rational at all.

"You tried to take my kids away from me and were almost successful at that" he chuckled darkly and slowly approached me. Kids? Kids?? was I pregnant? am I pregnant?? Oh god, oh no, please; this is so much fucking worse than I thought. I have to plead my case. I quickly stretched my hand out and placed it on his chest all while crying, "No, Gio, no, I didn't know, I promise. I don't know why I did it. I was just so hurt and broken that I wanted the pain to stop. It felt like a dark lonely hole that I couldn't get out of in my head. And you know, when people get depressed, they don't have much control over their thoughts. At the moment, I thought death was the only way out. I'm so sorry, I didn't know I was pregnant, please, Gio," I pleaded desperately as I wrapped my hands around his chest and rested my chin on it, staring up at him and shaking my head vigorously.