the tales of an annoying bacon

part three: the final braincells

A beautiful new day came. The birds were singing and a soft summer breeze carried their melodic noises around the lime green hills. Butterflys could be found everywhere and it looked like they were dancing around in the warm air that came with the first bits of sunlight which was lurking above the horizon. Well too bad Peppa Pig woke up and filled the fresh and innocent air with her stinky smell of rotten meat and sweat that should have been showered off months ago. Even the sun would have liked to reconsume her own photons it was emitting but physics firmly forbid it since the laws of nature wanted a more cruel way of dying for her. Besides - what's the point of her vanishing from existence when there's no one left to enjoy the beauty. Back to the shittys point of view. She was screaming at her mother louder than a baby on an airplane to get breakfast while the formerly dancing (now suffering) butterflies were trying to escape this madness.

As she was falling down the stairs her mother happily made breakfast. She calmly chanted the lyrics of Tendous famous song. ~baki baki ni ooore nani wooo...~ Having the brightest smile on her face she offered Peppa a beautifully arranged plate with various dishes that looked as pretty as gojos eyes and as handsome as Oikawa himself (this is up for interpretation now). Peppa ripped the good looking food out of her mothers hands and consumed it without appreciating it at all. This was partly due to her terrible personality that could easily outshine Minetas's but also because she was salty about not getting a reply from her precious Okiababe. - for explanation purpouses I have to add that the stupid did not notice that she wasn't in a simulation anymore! As I said she has literally only eyes for Toru- Anyways, she was worried that he might actually have died. Was this all a dream or did he really became cheese? What was this all about? Peppas first thinking process ended as abruptly as it begun because her mother wanted to know wether she was in the mood for sitting with the guests. Shitty glanced outside her small kitchen window. An overwhelming amount of people (more than Naruto's shadow clones) sat there. But because she didn't see Oikawas flat figure she didn't bothered staying. Without grunting another word the ugly one dramatically escaped from the back door and had her "I'm thirteen and this is deep" running away in tears moment, strips of bacon and paprika still between her bleached teeth.

Still rushing towards a metaphorical nothingness she soon felt her legs crumble and age. Sure they were as incapable of sprinting as bakugo was at being nice. After all they were nothing more than two sticks attached to the stupid. Since her animated legs can decide when to be useful and when to be like Sakura, they had more mood swings then Sasuke. One day wanting to be good the other day bad... it depends. Today they decided to be good so Peppa was left crying in front of the forest. Not just any forest. Tis story is the real shit. If you've red this far you're propably already used to it getting weird. So brace yourself cause I do not intend to stop here.

Just seconds after the Shitty had stopped running a mass of giant oak trees appeared around her. Terrified she looked up with an expression resembling those of Gojo after he had learned that Itadori ate Sukunas finger. Suddenly the world seemed to crush down and break over her empty head that still had recognisable marks of Volleyballs on it. Just a split second before the pointy tops of massive wooden materials could end her miserable life a mysterious someone stopped it. Someone stopped it right here and there. Why couldn't they have let this sorrowful tale come to and end. As it seems this dejected telling has to continue...

... You might have heard of ending it when it's best. I tend to follow rules but have decided to not follow this one just for the sake of it (and to make it everyones problem of course) ;).
Back to the anonymous saviour. A shadow rushed behind the trees. Peppas tiny void eyes couldn't make out an outline. All she could tell was that whoever it was- they were fast and much stronger than her. (I acknowledge that this doesn't really say much because her athletic skills are worse than Tsunades gambling luck). Suddenly there was emptyness around her. Only a sole Higanbana field surrounded her...

... her and Inosuke

Whit a sharp sound that made Peppa think the air was being torn apart, the boar drew his self customised Katana. "You have taken everything from me" he shouted with a trembling but loud voice that hit Peppa right into her non existing heart.
"I don't even know who you are" she responded with her squeaky pitched voice that almost ruined the epic fighting ambiance. No time to reflect about that tho. Inosuke ran towards her at a speed so high it started curving spacetime around him.
As soon as he reached his target he jumped up and swung his sword precisely. Peppa glanced at her slaughterer from below. Her eyes reflected the boy's beautiful face and moments after she had a deep cut through her entire pink body. Blood was dripping down on the red spider lilies which made them emit atmospheric little bits of light.
"why" she whispered as she took one of her last breaths.
"because I was supposed to be happy! I was supposed to live next to your hose!I was supposed to marry your oldest brother! I was- "the words which were said couldn't be understood as they were hidden underneath a loud sobbing noise. Peppa on the other hand- she remembered. Now finally as it was over she remembered that she once had an older brother.
That brother was long gone. He died because of her. Inosuke managed to whisper a few broken words "t.. this this is all I have left" as he pointed at his boar mask.
Peppa was convinced this was the end. She was ready for it. Without her beloved Oilover what was it worth living for anyways. what on earth was left for her.

During Inosukes revenge Peppa finally became what she was supposed to be all along. ✨Bacon✨
Inosuke rang the Pig family's doorbell. Everyone was gathered there. Shoooooto and the Teletubbies and Ushijima and Tendou as well as Bokuto and his beloved Akashi. Everyone came. Everyone mentioned in this story and more. Even Midorias dad. It was a happy gathering. They all laughed together and had the best breakfast one could ask for. They all ate bacon, Peppas mom had perfectly prepared.

From upstairs you could hear an annoying voice shouting "Mooom is the breakfast ready jet?"