the tales of an annoying bacon

the tales begin

Peppa was a little bitch. Everyone knew it. as soon as they stopped recording their weekly episode for the ridiculous kids show no one liked, all the other animated characters turned away from her. As they should! The animators didn't have to help at all, the hatred towards her was so big, they managed to develop their own will just to show their discomfort against „shitty pig" as they would call her. Not behind her back tho. Why should they try to keep her in an illusion when they could just hurt her feelings? Peppa was obnoxious to all of it. All she did was smile disgustingly. In fact she was so smart, that she was actually dumb again. Therefore she knew that she was a burden to everyone and she was well aware that her presence was unbearable, but she enjoyed seeing the others suffer. Then why is that dumb you might ask? Well... the annoying extrovert she was carved friends. She wanted to have someone in her life. But everyone was shit. The pig didn't care about the insults or anything, she just disliked them because they weren't ✨extra✨ enough. Furthermore she couldn't stand their zit blasted faces and their high pitched voices gave the pig diarrhoea. One nasty afternoon, where the weather kept changing and the temperature was either to hot or to cold, Peppas miserable live took a surprising turn. Everyone hated that turn, expect for herself.

He entered the room. The mass gasped out of horror, expect for Peppa! "Something about him", she thought... "is different" Either that brown hair that was compare able to chocolate ice-cream which had already been eaten almost entirely and now stood in the sun starting so smell funny or his door like physique... or was it that warm fake smile of his which caught the shittys attention? whatever it was, she was determined to never let it out of her sight. "Yahoooooo", Oikawa said softly, which earned him a slap in the face from his best friend. Maybe that was the reason his intellectual abilities weren't something to brag about. "Why are they here, again?" the Teletubbies asked simultaneously. "Collabs bring profit", the animators argued. "Yeah but only with likeable characters you dumbass, don't you know everyone hates Oikawa", Iwaizumi shouted "Exactly, and no one likes Peppa" her mom educated the producer. "Whatever, I don't care! Besides stupidity is very entertaining" those words made everyone shut up. Peppa started crying like the little bitch she was. Not because of her mothers words but because she had found her soulmate.

Peppa was a blushing mess. Lucky for her she didn't look any different than usual because well, her skin was pink anyways and everyone acknowledged her presence as a mess at all times. I spoke to soon! The psychopathically empathic side of the setter noticed that something was up with the ugly one. "Hey bacon, are you all right?" The way he spoke reminded of a soft and warm place in the forest where as soon as you would lay down a horde of ants would crawl up all over your body. Peppas little soulless eyes that were starring in to endless nothingness were to blind to notice the ants. * HE CARES ABOUT ME *, she thought. "Let's get you something to drink, we wouldn't want you to die, not before you grow a little unsmaller than Hinata and become the perfect Pork". * HE SEES MY POTENTIAL* So they went off, Peppa completely in love.

After the brunch, they started animating the show. Everything went pretty well (considering you regard a show as "well" where the main characters are the red Teletubbie, Peppa pig, Oikawa and Mineta). Seijoh started playing Volleyball. They were playing 3 against 3. Despite being by far the best player, Oikawas unlikeability was better. He ended up with Peppa and Mineta because no one wanted to be in a team with them as well. It was like Kageyamas wish had come true. Oikawa had to play all by himself. Shittys forehead was too big for her hands, meaning she couldn't reach the ball. Mineta wasn't even paying attention because he was looking at the girls and even if he did it changed nothing. Ugly was on the verge of tears. She wanted to impress the captain but no matter how hard she tried her empty vessle of a head always got in her way. "Don't cry bacon, I've got this" Oikawa shouted manipulatively, while smashing the volleyball in dekus face. With his luck he managed to break his nose which meant one player less on the opposing team. (I am not sure if I am using irony or if Oikawa is just lucky) "Wow you really are good at everything" Peppa simped. "Not when it comes to coming to Shiratorizawa" Ushijima stated. "And going to nationals" his boyfriend Tendou added correctly. In conclusion: Oikawa snapped and magically won the match. Wether it was magic or a higher power, years of training or the fact that he was playing two animated Teletubbies who couldn't even move properly is for you to decide. Peppa ran up to Oikawa in slow motion and tried to hug him but her arms were too short.

The next morning came.
Now it was time to say goodbye. The drawings gathered together and were happy about the fact that they won't have to see each other ever again. All expect for Peppa cause she is the main character and has to be extra. She didn't want to leave Oikawa. "I won't stay here" she screamed. "Let me be in Haikyu!!! just animate my arms longer and I could play too!" For the first time ever someone agreed with her. "Please leave!!!!!", her mom and the others cheered. It was decided. Peppa Pig is going to join the volleyball club! "With you we're going to go to nationals! Oikawa screamed" "No" Ushijima explained to his boyfriend. "I know" replied the other. Peppa and Oikawa were looking into each others eyes. Or rather Peppa was, Oikawa was starring into endless nothingness. And then to everyones suprise they shared a passionate kiss while the vacuum cleaner from the Teletubbies was watching carefully.

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Sikeeee...!
You didn't think this was gonna end in a straight way did you?

The next morning came
But not for Peppa. Everyone was so sick of her that they decided to do something about it. Murder was illegal, so that couldn't be the answer. What they ended up doing was brilliant. They borrowed the VR glasses from SAO and put her in a fantasy world where she would go to Haikyu!!. Now you might think why they didn't make her suffer... well you see you don't know what volleyball is going to do to her so be patient ( like the no game no life fans waiting for a second season)! Sadly the beginning had to be convincing and flattering for Peppa to not break the simulation. Little did the pig know that even a flatass like Oikawa had standards. Who by the way was glad to go back to his anime. There he ended up at his "best friends" house because other than everyone else here Iwaizumi was actually hot.