Ryder was out with veronica today for the final dress fitting and for helping her pick out the flowers for the wedding. Ryder was feeling especially grumpy today which she assumed was just because she was pregnant and moody, but also because she was tired of being jealous of all the wedding stuff Veronica got to do. She was extremely on edge. When she sweet Veronica in her dress for the first time, she had to fight the urges not to break down and cry right there in the dress shop.
Veronica looked amazing and it really killed Ryder. Ryder felt fat and and gross which just fueled her bad mood. Her legs, feet and ankles were swollen, her back was aching and she really just wanted to go home and cry her eyes out. It fueled the fire every time Veronica put her hands on her belly. Normally, she didn't care about it. But today she wasn't in their mood to be touched all the time.
"Ry, are you okay? You seem a million miles away today. Is it the baby?" Veronica asked, rubbing her belly. Ryder had to fight not push her off of her at that exact moment.
"I'm fine Ve. The baby just kept me up all night. That's all." Ryder lied. But it wasn't really a lie. He had done so much moving around and kicking that she's barely slept at all. Just two more months.
"Awww! Might as well gets used to it, you won't sleep when he's here either." Veronica laughed and Ryder cringed at the sound. It was like nails on a chalkboard in the mood she was in.
"Yeah I guess you're right." She replied. Ryder was in a very dangerous spot right now. It was like a crack in a dam that continued to get bigger and at anytime she was going to break and unleash hell. It was only a matter of time. The reason it was dangerous for her was because her doctors had told her to take it easy and try not to stress. That was one of the reasons she wasn't gaining weight. When Veronica had asked her to step in and help with the wedding planning, she wanted to say no. She wanted to use the excuse that she couldn't handle the stress, but she knew Veronica had no one else, so she agreed.
"Do you want like, a coffee or something?"
And the crack grew a little bit more. Was Veronica stupid? She was Seven months pregnant. She couldn't have coffee. She had told her a million times.
"Remember Ve, I can't." Her tone was calm, but inside she was screaming.
"Oh yeah! Sorry Ry, I forgot again. I have too much on my mind right now and I'm not thinking straight."
That laugh again. Ryder couldn't help it, but it irritated her so much. She was focusing all of her energy on not freaking out.
When they reached the flower shop, Ryder assumed it would be in and out. Veronica knew exactly what she wanted and she had been talking about it non stop for two weeks now. As soon as she walked in and saw the displays, Ryder knew all of that just went out the window. She was back to square one, no idea what she wanted.
"Awww Ryder look at this one! Isn't it gorgeous?!" she held up a bouquet of roses.
"I thought you decided on the Lilies. With the pink and purple accents? You know, the ones that you wouldn't shut up about? The ones you had to text me a 1am about when you found a picture of the arrangement." Her filter was breaking down and things she was sure she was saying just in her head were coming out of her mouth. She had no control over it.
"Yeah but aren't these great too?! I don't know what I want anymore. Oh my god these ones are nice too! This is so hard!"
Ryder was about to lose it. The baby was kicking her, causing pain. She had been on her feet for over two hours and they were killing her. The crack was too big now and the dam could no longer hold.
"Veronica they are fucking flowers! They are going to die in a fucking week so does it really fucking matter if you get the lilly's, like you had planned for fucking ever or the stupid god damn roses?! Jesus Christ this isn't a life choice! It's what shitty flowers do you want to hold onto while you walk down the aisle. Fuck!" She sat down on the chair nearby, shaking.
Everyone in the shop was staring and Veronica was speechless. She had never heard Ryder say anything like that before.
"We will take the lilly's." Veronica said. "Ryder, honey, let's step outside and get some fresh air. Okay?"
While Veronica and Ryder were out ordering the flowers, Jack had a day planned. He was driving to Veronica's parents house. He had to talk to them in person. When he got there, he sat in his car for a long time, planning what he was going to say to them. When he finally had the courage, he made his way to the door.
Her mother answered the door. She looked confused by his presence.
"Jack. What a shock." She said. "What brings you here?" She said. She wasn't rude, but she didn't want him to be here.
"I want to talk to you guys. Please. Just five minutes of your time." His facial expression was a look of a desperation.
Her heart softened and she let him in.
