Worlds Collided |g.d.|

Chapter Twenty Five

-Grayson pov-

"Um, hey, It's me...I want to apologize again for tonight. And also for not being honest with you, and I guess just being a shit girlfriend sometimes. I didn't mean girlfriend, I meant... I promise I'll explain everything. Okay, yeah that's it, goodnight."

My finger hovered over the button to reply the voicemail. I had played it five times already, forcing myself to listen to the desperation in her voice. Was she crying? It sounded like she was. The thought of her crying alone in her room broke my heart.

But then I remembered why I had left. The boy high outside her apartment turned out to be her brother. I didn't even know she had a brother. She never said much about her family, only claimed she left home directly after high school and doesn't speak to them anymore.

So why was he on the doorstep? Why didn't she explain it to me? And most importantly; what else was she hiding for me?

I threw my phone onto my comforter, laying back as I processed my thoughts. I really should call her back. I don't want her to be crying alone. But I also know I won't be able to hold my emotions in check. I've grown a lot since knowing her but it's easy to fall back into the pit I was in before. To disassociate and take out my anger and frustration on her. And that's the last thing I want to do.

A light knock on my door had me sitting back up, relaxing as Ethan strolled into the room. "Hey."

"Hey," I realized, monotone as I laid back down.

"I didn't think you would be back this soon."

"She needed some space."

"Oh...you guys good?"

It was hard to hold in a sigh as he sat on the corner of my bed, seems he's settling in for a long chat.

"We're fine? I think."

"You can talk to me Grayson, I'm your twin. I know when something's on your mind." Ethan spat out, running a hand through his hair. "But if you don't want to talk I will."

I didn't answer, I knew from the second he walked into the room that he needed to get something off his chest.

"I'm fucking sick of hiding my relationship," Ethan continued, laying it out bare. "The secrecy really wears on us Gray. What am I supposed to do?"

"Come out." I grunted, throwing my arm over my eyes to hide from the light.

"But we can't do that, not without both of our careers suffering."

"What matters more Ethan? Your career or your girlfriend?" I asked.

Ethan didn't respond, I could practically hear the wheels in his head turning.

"I don't know Grayson." He finally responded, his voice low. "We've been youtubers our whole lives...it feels wrong to throw it away."

"But-?" I prompted.

Ethan sighed, the bed shifting as he scooted toward me. "I want the best of both worlds."

"That's not possible E," I said gently.

"Yeah, whatever."

I peaked out from under my arm as he laid down next to me, hands resting on stomach. We laid in silence for a while, thoughts twisting in both of our heads.

"I should have asked her to be my girlfriend."

Ethan didn't respond, but I knew he was listening as I continued. "She thinks I'm going to leave her...so to stop from getting hurt she'll leave first." I swallowed. "At least with a title we would have some commitment to each other."

"What happened tonight Gray?" Ethan asked softly.

I hesitated. "There was a druggie sitting outside her apartment. Turned out to be her brother...I didn't even know she had a brother," I said weakly. "I ran Ethan, like a coward. And she left me a voicemail, she's a mess. I should have been there for her."

Ethan ruminated over my words for a couple of minutes. "Did she ask you to leave?"

"Yeah."

"She must be embarrassed, and doesn't like to talk about her past."

"Well that I know. She's told me before."

"So why are you mad? She's already told you that she doesn't want to talk about her family, makes sense that you didn't know." Ethan turned his head, his eyes meeting mine.

"I'm not mad about that, doesn't even matter anymore."

"Then what's the problem?"

"I think she's going to leave me god dammit!" I yelled, getting frustrated.

"Okay, I didn't mean to make you mad." He soothed.

I shook my head. "She doesn't trust me, so she won't let me stick around."

"You need to talk to her, don't sit here and make up the ending before speaking with her."

I thought about his words, sitting up. "You're right."

Ethan chuckled. "Yeah, I usually am."

I sprung out of bed, looking frantically around the room to find my shoes. Ethan sat up, confused. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to see her."

"Now?! It's after midnight!"

"And?" I pulled on my shoes, grabbing my keys from my desk. "I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks Ethan."

"Yeah..." He stood as well, eyes wary as he watched me go to leave the room.

I turned on my heel. "And you should take your own advice E, go talk to Emma. Figure it together."

Ethan nodded, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Okay."

"Night." I waved, practically running out of the house to my car.

The streets were empty at this time of night so I was able to quickly get to Jana's complex. I ran inside, pocketing my keys as I took the steps two at a time. I was standing before her door in seconds, hand raised to know. My fist hesitated, it's late and she'll probably be asleep.

I pulled out my phone, clicking the contact as I leaned against the doorframe. It rang a few times but before the call when to voicemail she picked up. "Hello..?" Her voice was groggy.

"Hey baby."

"Grayson." There was so much relief in her tone. "You called back."

"Of course I did."

"Can we talk?"

"Come open your front door honey." I drawled.

Her sleep brain worked fast, I could hear her footsteps running up to the door, her fingers working fast on the many latches.

The door flung open, reveling a disheveled Jana, a huge smile on her face as she threw her arms around me. "You came."

I embraced her back. "Let's talk, yeah?"

"Yes."