Worlds Collided |g.d.|

chapter fifteen

-Jana pov-

I woke Grayson up at sunrise. I didn't sleep well, not with the thought that I was the second woman on my mind. He was confused, but took me home nonetheless. I claimed I was tired and would be taking a day off.

He just kissed me goodbye, telling me to rest and that he would pick me up tomorrow morning. I guess he didn't notice the way I didn't kiss back, or how I only nodded at his words. Maybe he was tired, maybe he thought I was tired.

I drove myself crazy, thinking of all of the possibilities. I came down to two. Either he was a cheater and I was the other woman or he had broken up with her and I was the rebound. Neither were good things.

I thought I could trust Grayson, I mean he trusted me by admitting he had walls and was afraid to let them down. Hell, I even admitted that. Was he lying about that as well? Have all of our conversations been lies?

I laid on the floor of my apartment, the ceiling a cold white above me, the carpet fuzzy and worn down beneath me, only the dim glow of the setting sun warming the room. I had spent all day doing nothing. Practically paced in circles all day with bites of food in between.

I ignored the crusted tears over my face, they were a sign of weakness. But god was I so sick of being lied to. I turned over, my TV playing for background noise. I mindlessly watched the episode of Law and Order, not even understanding what was happening.

Maybe I would just waste away right here in the dingy apartment with the leaky pipes and thin walls. What a pitiful ending to a pitiful life. Would anyone even care? Would anyone even miss me?

I was feeling a whole new wave of self pity when there was a knock on my door. I froze, listening carefully in hopes they would leave. No such luck, another knock. I heaved myself up off the floor, dragging my feet over to the door. I opened it only a few inches, only speaking to the person standing outside. "Can I help you?"

"No, but I can help you..." A confident voice spoke.

I slammed the door in his face. Very last person I want to speak to right now. He responded with immediate pounding. "Come on Jana, open up!"

"No, leave me alone Grayson!" I called, sliding down the door to sit on the floor.

"Jana, please, tell me what's wrong." A pause. "Let me help."

"Why are you here?"

His voice was muffled from the other side of the door. "I wanted to check on you, you didn't answer my texts and I thought you were having...doubts."

I found myself filled with rage. Having doubts doesn't even scratch the surface. I stood and flung open the door. I gestured for him to come inside, but didn't make eye contact better to get this over with as soon as possible.

Grayson walked hesitantly inside, unsure of how comfortable I wanted him to be. He opted to lean against the counter, his hazel eyes meeting mine. "What's going on Jana?"

I crossed my arms, my head down as we stood facing each other. I wouldn't look at him directly, but it was hard to miss his wet hair paired with flushed cheeks and plump lips. Damn he looks good.

"Did you-?" I cured myself for letting my voice crack. "Do you have a girlfriend Grayson?"

"What?!" He exclaimed, taking a step toward me. "That's what this is about? You think I have a-? And I'm with you-?" It seemed he was so shocked that he couldn't even finish his sentences, running his hands through his damp hair. "God, Jana, who do you think I am?"

"I've heard you on the phone with her, don't lie to me!" I shot back, stepping right up to his advances and finally meeting his eyes.

"What?" Now Grayson was plain flabbergasted, his jaw dropped. "I've never been-." He stopped mid sentence, his eyes doing dull.

"Why would you lie?" I choked out, my words thick with emotion.

"No, no, Jana. I didn't lie to you." His voice was gentle, and he stepped toward, me offering out a hand. I didn't flinch so he took it as a good sign, gently taking my elbow and pulling me closer to him. "There's no girlfriend, I've actually never even had a girlfriend." He chuckled. "I'm not playing with you, Jana."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" I searched his eyes, but found no answer.

He hesitated. "You don't." It was a honest answer, an asnwer that was more for himself rather than me.

"Who was on the phone with you?" I asked quietly.

"I can't–it's not what you think it is."

"Then why won't you tell me?"

A sad smile. "Remember that trust thing I told you about? It has to do with that."

"I thought we agreed to trust each other..." I countered.

Grayson slightly scoffed. "Yes, I did too. But I don't think you fully trust me either."

"Gray-."

"I know, it's okay." He pulled on my elbow. "Come on, you look tired, let's get some sleep."

I complied, allowing him to led me to my bedroom before we squeezed together on my twin bed, his body flush with mine. I could tell neither of us could fall alseep, too many thoughts circling around.

I didn't know if I beliebed him. But if it was true...who was he talking to?

His arms suddenly tightened around me and he took a deep breath. He suddenly started whispering, he must think I'm asleep. "I feel different this time, it's not as scary, feels more natural. But I'm scared, damn I'm scared...I don't want to be this person anymore. Maybe..." He drifted off, yawning and losing his train of thought.

I thought on his words, my attitude shifting drastically once more. It'll be so much easier to believe him than to carry on feeling like I can't trust anyone.

I fell into a peaceful slumber.