A Soul.

Why.

I want to cry and let it all out, but i can't and i don't know why. Im just hurting inside, and the pain is much worst, cant tell if the pain is mental or physical. But how does is hurt more when i can't shed my tears than when im actually crying ? I feel manipulated, but i dont know who manipulated me. I dont care anymore. I cant share my feelings well. No one exists to me anymore. I cant trust or talk or even look at anyone, and thats probably because of anxiety, and its a big problem in my head because its just adding more and more confusion. True that you never know........well I don't know what's going on with me, i never know what i feel like. I dont know how i feel , what i think, what i want, what i need, ....and i dont care. Im sorry, Ruhina, but I lost you. The girl i was before, the true one, the bright one. She was kind, extroverted, always laughing with her friends, living her best life. But shes lost, maybe shes out there somewhere, maybe she disapeared into thin air, what if shes gone for good ?... I dont know, but now shes replaced...with darkness. I know.....
people do change. Just hoping to know more about myself right now i dont even know who i am, and its okay... im waiting for fate... I mean, it will all be meaningless in the end.... sooo, i dont really care, and its not in a sad or mad manner, im just peacfully waiting for whatever, whenever.