Her Peace

1

Naomi

I tied my bow to the front of my outfit and looked at myself once more in the mirror.

My eyes were swollen and red, I had rubbed my nose raw, my skin looked pale, and I had bags deep enough under my eyes to carry my luggage.

I looked over to my suitcase across the room. My dad thought that it was best for me to come into town and stay at the house in my old room for the funeral. My family is in Kansas City, Kansas but I go to school in Austin Texas with my boyfriend Hakeem.

Hakeem and I have been together for the past 3 years. His birthday is late putting him in the same grade as me but older.

He believed that I shouldn't be traveling alone while grieving so he came with me. I didn't protest seeing as my family loved him and vice versa.

I threw on my coat grabbed my purse and forced myself out of my room.

"Hey how you doing?" Hakeem came out of the bathroom meeting me in the hallway.

"Fine." My voice was low and scratchy as I looked towards the floor. He gently wrapped me up in his arms as he stroked my back.

"It's okay. You're strong. You can do this." He kissed my forehead.

"The limo is outside." My dad popped around the corner.

"Let's do this." Hakeem let me go grabbing my hand. I nodded following him.

The cold air hit me as I walked outside. It was the weekend before the last week of school for winter break. The air was crisp and cold and there was a light sheet of snow of the ground.

"Here you go." The driver came around opening the door for us. It was only me Hakeem and my dad.

Most of the time is was only me, my mom and my dad. Nobody else ever came around.

They never cared to.

But today something tells me that there will be a bunch of people around. People who act like they checked on her everyday, took her to chemo, shaved her head, and watched her take her last breathe.

But no one was there for all of that but me and my father.

No one.

Tears weld up in my eyes at the thought of her last night with us.

"Naomi?" My mother's voice croaker along with the constant beeping machine.
"Yes mommy?" I responded with tears rolling down my cheeks. "Why do you cry?" She grabbed my hands smiling. "I don't want you to cry. I'm going to be with you everyday. I'll always be with you." She smiled rubbing my hands. I put my head in her lap crying. My dad jumped up rubbing my back. I looked up seeing a tear stream down her face. "Johnathan?" She sounded out of breathe looking at my dad. "Yes baby?" He rubbed her wedding ring. "Don't cry." She wiped his face. "I love you both so much." She held both our hands. I heard her let out a sigh before the machine let out a long beep.

"Naomi?" My dad grabbed my knee. I snapped out of it looking over at him.

"You okay?" He gently wiped away my tears I didn't even know I had.

I nodded.

*******
Being honest most of the funeral was a blur. People screaming, loud choir, preacher talking about god and heaven, family and friends acting like they were really close to her.

Blah blah blah.

"And now we will have the viewing of Melissa Sanders." The preacher said over the microphone.

His words rang out like a megaphone was directly in my ear. It felt like I was frozen. Like I was super glued to my seat.

The funeral director reached out his hand to me. I slowly got up from my seat as my dad and Hakeem held both of my sides.

As I neared the casket my stomach began to turn. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to run out the door. I wanted all of this to over.

I made it to the casket to see her lifeless body holding flowers.

She looked fake.

She looked too light. The makeup was too light. And they put false eyelashes on her. She didn't wear those.

My vision got blurred and my knees got weak. Next thing I knew I was in Hakeem's arms.

"I gotchu. I gotchu." He helped me back to the front row.

I put my face in his shoulder and cried like a baby. He held me tight rubbing my back and stroking my hair.