4 Negative Practices You Need To Avoid

What The Title Said

Let's assume you're here because you want to change yourself. You don't want to end up as the old grumpy person in every movie. 

You want to know how to control your negativity and find what you're doing wrong. If none of the above applies to you, you might be sour with some things in this list- because you can relate to them. I do, too, but it's important to know what they are. Let's get started

1. Bringing down successful people

Their house seems so perfect, they have their lives together, a wonderful set of family and friends- and then there's you. 

Are you that one hater on every comment section of someone who ''made it''? The more negativity you give to these people, the more separate you are from them. 

Maybe you're jealous that they don't have any problems- how would you know that through a screen? Or maybe they do share their problems, but it all seems so petty to you. 

Just keep in mind that you're both on different ''levels'' in your mind, and therefore you'll have different problems.

Let's make it a habit to not bring down anybody who's doing well on social media. You never know how hard they worked to get there, or the other issues they're dealing with. 

If you feel that those things don't apply to the ''successful'' person you're hating on, unfollow them on social media. This isn't all about affecting the person, but the person it's ruining the most is you. 

If you want to compare yourself less, value yourself more, then block them. Chances are they don't even know who you are, yet here you are, your mind and definition of ''perfect'' revolving around them. Don't let that control you.

Trauma dumping in the wrong places

You need to voice out your trauma, you can't keep that hurt boiling inside of you. But you also need to know the right place to do it. 

Is a video of a dog who battled cancer the right place to discuss the details of how your dog died of cancer? If that's the case, my condolences. 

I recently lost a dog and it's been so unimaginably hard. But people are rejoicing for the dog who fought cancer, is this the best time to bring up your own problems? 

And another example- if someone is crying about their pet getting diagnosed with cancer, do you have to give a detailed rant of how much hardship your poor pet had to go through? 

You're going to scare away the person instead of comforting them- or just keep your mouth shut. If you find this hard, keep a journal. Pour all your terrible thoughts and let them be real for a moment. 

This is the right place to share your thoughts. A notebook won't judge you, whether digital or in paper, so spill it all out.

Comparing your problems with someone else's'

This is connected to the first two reasons listed. Have you ever told someone, out of everyone, that you had anxiety(or something else), and that person replies with,''we all do.'' Or ''it could be so much worse''. UGH WHY. 

This is exactly how people feel when you make their worries feel invalid. Giving the bigger picture of the worst possible thing that could've happened while someone is hurting, you're bound to lose that person. 

We all have fears and doubts that are horrid to us, but it sounds petty to others. If you don't believe this, here's an example

I told my friend that my dad had a bad cough so I couldn't attend her party, she thought it was a lame excuse. It may sound like it, but she didn't know the severity. 

Didn't know the type of cough. How it never ended, how loud and exhausting it was, it may seem silly from a reader's point of view, but it was serious. 

My friend didn't bother to ask. She thought I was coming up with a way to get rid of her, I actually did want to when she barely asked how my father was. It was until she went over to confront me when she realized the state my dad was in. 

 Others have it much worse, I know, but it just made me feel even more terrible that they have to deal with this in an even more horrid version, too. 

That friend provided no comfort. She did not make anything better, including those who have it worse, and now I distance myself from her. 

Starting fights with a difficult person

A fool's errand. It's almost like you want to become a more negative person. But it's also addicting. 

When you pick unnecessary arguments with difficult people, you're falling into their trap. You'll go over the same reasons over and over again, the fight won't end but that person will taunt you so you'll be determined to ''win''. 

There's no such thing as winning with a difficult person. Either way you lose, they win. You've been set up to fail right from the start. 

And it'll damage your mental health and the argument will most likely be unending. Speaking from experience, just dealing with a difficult person is hard enough. But joining fights? Their negativity is bound to transfer to you. 

You're becoming more like them. It's a lot easier said than done, and definitely a lot to ask for on your part, but as much as possible, avoid wasting your time reasoning with someone who's opinions won't change with facts and logic. 

From someone who used to fall into this trap, It's not worth it.

Author's Note: Honestly, I've done all of the above. Getting rid of old habits without deliberately hurting others is easier said than done. By a lot. It's been years and I still have a lot to work on for myself. You may not agree with my opinion on certain areas of this book, so let's agree to disagree, okay?

Good. I hope you all stay safe and slowly but surely reach whatever goals you have in mind. It's all in the mind.